I'll Stand By You
by saywhat
Summary: Craig and Ellie are going through some hard times and are trying to hide it. However, when their secrets are revealed they find themselves in the same rehab center. Sparks start to fly, but can their feelings survive the traumatic events of their lives?
1. Coming Home

**Takes place at the beginning of senior year for Craig and Ellie. Contains spoilers for Season 4 up until and including Voices Carry.**

Ellie's emotions were all over the place. She was nervous, excited, eager, terrified, anxious, and relieved all at the same time.

_I suppose confused sums it up best_, she thought as she struggled to zipper her over-flowing suitcase.

Ellie's mother was home from rehab for good. Ellie was going to see her for the first time in months and was most likely going to move back home. Which was the reason for the tangle of emotions she was feeling at the moment. Her mother sounded happy and adjusted on the phone whenever she had spoken to her, but Ellie still wasn't entirely convinced that she was cured. Still it was her mother's big homecoming and Ellie had to go.

As she trudged down the street wheeling her suitcase behind herself, she thought about his father. They hadn't heard from in almost two weeks. He usually managed a brief call to them or at least a letter once a week. To say Ellie was worried was an understatement. Even now as she was walking to the bus stop, she had to pause and snap the rubberband on her wrist several times.

The bus ride home went rather quickly and before she knew it, she was standing outside her familiar house. It looked different somehow. Bigger. Smaller. Ellie wasn't sure. She felt a bit relieved that perhaps she wouldn't have to worry about juggling her job, school and expenses all by herself. Ever since Sean left, she had barely had time to enjoy having her own apartment. The worries seemed to outweigh the benefits.

Ellie walked up to the front door then paused, unsure if she should knock or just walk in. After a minute's debate, she knocked loudly then twisted the doorknob, pushing open the door. "Hello? Mom?"

She walked into the kitchen. She was shocked to see how different it looked. Not only had all the damage been fixed but it looked ten times better than it had before. The walls had been painted a cheery yellow, flowered curtains covered the brand-new window, and the table cloth was clearly just out of the package.

"Ellie."

Ellie turned to see her mother standing in the doorway. Ellie couldn't help but gasp in surprise. Her mother looked—well, she looked like Ellie believed a mother should. She had no bags under her eyes, her hair fell in curls around her shoulders, her clothes were neat and ironed, and best of all, she wore a huge smile, her arms extended. "Ellie, dear."

Ellie let go of her suitcase and hurried into her mother's arms. She _had_ missed her. Even when she was drunk and made scenes, she was still her mother. Ellie hadn't realized just how much she needed her until this moment.

"Mom," she murmured into the woman's shoulder. "I'm so glad you're home. So glad."

"So am I," her mother whispered back. "Things are going to be different now, sweetheart. I promise."

For the first time in months, standing there in her mother's arms, Ellie felt like she was home.

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Craig had been waiting all his life. At least that was the way it felt. He sat in the airport jiggling his leg, clutching a bouquet of white roses in his hands.

Ashley had been away on an internship in Italy for nearly the entire summer and she was finally returning today. Craig had never been so eager to see someone before in his life. He had missed her more than anything but the thought of this moment kept him going. They talked on the phone and sent letters and email but it still wasn't the same. Their conversations were always brief and hurried as Ashley was constantly busy.

Craig heard the announcement that her plane had arrived and eagerly jumped to his feet. He pushed his way through the crowd of people waiting, standing on his tiptoes desperate to get his first glimpse of Ashley as soon as she entered through the door. He wanted to see the expression on her face when she saw him. He had managed to convince her parents to let him pick her up at the airport in order to surprise her. Ever since they had found out about his illness, being bi-polar, they had been extremely understanding and kind to him. He almost found it hard to believe that at one point they hated him.

People began walking through the doorway, off the plane. Craig strained his neck until she finally appeared. Ashley paused, framed in the doorway and Craig felt his heart take a leap into his mouth. He tried to get closer but was blocked by a tall man in front of him. After a frustrating minute, the man moved and Craig was able to see her again.

She wasn't alone.

**Don't forget to R&R!!**


	2. Unexpected News

**I decided to change the rating of the story to PG13 because of some themes coming up later on.**

Craig wasn't sure if what he was seeing was right. Ashley _appeared_ to be holding hands with another guy but it couldn't possibly be true. Craig was seeing things. It must be his medication or his illness. It was making him delusional. That other guy wasn't putting his arm around Ashley, picking up her suitcase for her, kissing her affectionately on the side of her head. Ashley wasn't smiling up at him the way she used to smile up at Craig. It was just his imagination.

Then Ashley spotted him. Her mouth dropped open and she glanced up the man standing next to her. Then she looked back at Craig.

Craig took a step back, the flowers falling to the ground. It had to be real; he couldn't imagine a look like that. His lungs constricted and he continued backing away. The room spun crazily around him and he could barely make out Ashley running towards him through the tears that blurred his vision.

"Craig!" she cried. "Craig, wait!"

Craig shook his head, nearly falling backwards over some chairs. He couldn't speak, couldn't think. The only thing he knew was that he had to get out of there.

"Craig please, let me explain," she said. He felt his hand on her arm and something inside him began to snap. "Craig, I'm sorry."

Craig whirled around. "Ash," he said, finally finding his voice. He couldn't figure out exactly what he wanted to say to her at that moment. "I-I waited..." He pointed to the crumpled mass of white and green on a floor a few feet away. "I-I bought them...for you." _It was all for you!_ His mind screamed at her.

Ashley looked stricken. "I...i-it just happened."

Craig grabbed her hand desperately. "Do you love him?"

Ashley bit her lip, looking down at the toes of her black sneakers. Her hand was sweaty in his grasp.

Craig suddenly realized there was a ring on her finger. On the ring finger of her left hand. He looked down and saw the diamond glinting up at him. It was brilliant and its meaning nearly blinded him. His stomach heaved and he swallowed hard, trying to keep from throwing up.

"Craig..."

Craig knew that no explanation she had would make him feel even a little better. Struggling to control himself, Craig turned to walk away.

She didn't stop him.

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Ellie followed her mother from room to room as she showed her daughter all the changes that she had made. Ellie's own room had a new blue carpet and everything else just looked...clean. The house had never been very clean before. Her mother had been too busy drinking to do much housework.

"Everything looks really great," Ellie said when they finally sat down on the couch in the living room. She ran her finger along the coffee table, marveling at how the wood shone.

"I just wanted everything to be perfect," Mrs. Nash said, smiling. "I decided that since I changed, why not make some other changes."

"So you've really changed," Ellie said slowly. "For real?"

Mrs. Nash stroked her daughter's cheek affectionately. "Yes, Ellie. I've been sober for three months now. I am never falling off the wagon ever again. Believe me, that clinic was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Well, I'm glad then. Very glad." Ellie smiled but it soon faded at the look on her mother's face. "What?"

Mrs. Nash sighed. "I'm very happy that you're home, Ellie." She paused. "But I haven't been able to stop thinking about what you showed me that night." She cleared her throat. "Your cutting."

"But I told you on the phone. I'm getting help at school. I'm getting better."

"Better?" Mrs. Nash grabbed her daughter's arm and pulled up the sleeve, revealing clearly new wounds.

Ellie pulled her arm away, quickly covering the marks. "I-it's under control."

"That doesn't look under control to me."

Ellie sighed. She had gotten depressed again after Sean left her and some nights, after particularly stressful days, she did cut. But not nearly as much as she had in the past. And she hadn't even done it ever since her mother told her she was coming home. "I know it looks bad, but I'm really done with it. Now I'm home and everything's going to be better and I won't have to cut anymore."

"Oh, honey. The fact that you said that just shows even more how much help you need." Mrs. Nash handed her a brochure. Ellie took it hesitantly.

"Toronto's best mental health clinic?" she read aloud skeptically.

"Yes. You're going to start there in two days. Give you plenty of time to pack."

"What?!" Ellie cried. "You can't be serious."

Mrs. Nash bit her lip. "Ellie, the rehab center I went to was the best thing that ever happened to me. I know a place like that will help you too." She placed her hand on Ellie's. "I just want you to get better, Ellie. I don't want you to wind up as bad as I was."

"B-but," Ellie stuttered. Then she sighed. She knew there was no changing her mother's mind. She pulled her hand away then stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to start packing." Ellie threw the pamphlet on the couch and stalked out of the room. The coziness she had felt in the house had disappeared as quickly as it had come. Ellie went into her bedroom and slammed the door shut. She didn't really need to start packing, as all of her things were still in her suitcase. She needed to just sit and think for a while. She glanced over at her shoulder bag where she kept a small blade in the hidden pocket. Then she leaned her head back against the wall, snapping her rubberband as quickly as she could.

**Keep on reviewing please. Any criticism is welcome!**


	3. Giving Up

Craig curled up on his bed, wishing he could just forget the day's events.

_Engaged? I thought _we_ were supposed to be getting married_, he thought. _We were supposed to be together forever_. Forever was a lot shorter these days.

Craig's hands were balled into fists as he struggled to keep from destroying his room any further. He had already broken his lamp and made a dent in the wall. He wished he could sleep but whenever he closed his eyes, all he could see was Ashley with her fiancé.

_Is this how I made her feel?_ He thought suddenly. _God, did I do this to Ash when I cheated with Manny?_ Craig hadn't realized just how much it hurt to be cheated on. If he had gone through this first, he would have never done it. _I guess I'm just getting what I deserve. But I didn't marry Manny. I'm not spending the rest of my life with her._

Craig heard the front door open and close then the muffled voices of Joey and Caitlin. He thought for a moment then decided to get up and talk to Joey. His psychiatrist had told him that a way to help him manage his disorder was to talk about his problems rather than keep them inside. It worked for the little things and he hoped it would work for something as big as this.

Craig quietly walked down the stairs, noting that it sounded like Joey and Caitlin were having a serious conversation. Not wanting to interrupt, he stopped half way down the stairs with the intention of turning back around. However, he heard his own name and paused. He crept down a few more steps and squatted down to listen, just out of sight.

"Joey, you'll find a way," Caitlin was saying.

"Yeah, yeah, that's easier said than done. I've got creditors breathing down my neck. All these bills were bad enough until..." Craig heard Joey rustling through papers.

Caitlin sighed. "I know. But you have to–"

"I know I have to," Joey interrupted her. "It's helping Craig and I'm glad. It's just, why are all these medications so damn expensive? And I'm still paying off that hospital bill. And the psychiatrist..."

Craig's stomach heaved again and this time he knew he was going to throw up. He scrambled to his feet and hurried up the stairs to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind himself. After he had finished filling the toilet with his breakfast from that day, he slowly got to his feet. Unsteadily, he went over to the medicine cabinet and took out a bottle of his medication. He slowly and deliberately opened it, staring at his reflection in the mirror as he did so. There were tears streaming down his face but he remained calm as he poured the pills into his hand. He didn't count them.

He took them all.

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Joey heard the pounding footsteps and looked up at the stairs. He saw the shadow of someone running up the stairs. He glanced at Caitlin who was looking at him with wide eyes.

"Who–?" he asked then realized. "Craig!" He hurried up the stairs followed closely by Caitlin. "Do you think he heard?" he asked her breathlessly.

"He was obviously listening," Caitlin told him, looking worried.

"I didn't mean it...I would never stop paying for his–" Joey was cut off by the sound of the bathroom door slamming. They both looked at each other.

"Craig?" Caitlin called hesitantly. She knocked on the door. "Craig, are you okay?"

There was no answer.

Joey knocked harder. "Craig, come out please. I need to talk to you." He pounded his fist on the door. "Craig, open up." He placed a hand on the doorknob. "Craig if you don't open up, I'm coming in." He waited a minute before twisting the knob and opening the door. "Craig..."

Craig was standing at the counter. He slowly turned to look at Joey. Joey's heart skipped a beat. The boy's eyes were wide and wild looking, his face pale and wet from recent tears. Joey looked down at his hand. There was something cupped tightly in it.

"Craig, hon, are you okay?" Caitlin asked carefully. "Did you hear..." She trailed off as Craig's closed hand slowly opened and something dropped to the floor.

If Joey's heart had skipped a beat before, this time it skipped about twenty. Lying on the floor was one of Craig's medication bottles. And it was empty.

Joey lunged forward and caught Craig before his collapsed. "Craig! Oh my God, what did you do?!" He staggered and fell to his knees under the boy's weight.

"I-I'm sorry," Craig whispered, his eyes fluttering. "I didn't mean...to be such...a...burden. Tell Angie...I love her...and I'm sorry..." He trailed off as his eyes fell shut and he went limp in Joey's arms.

"Craig," Joey said in a choked voice, barely able to speak. He looked up to see that Caitlin was gone. It took him a second to realize that she had probably gone to call 911. Sure enough, she reappeared in the doorway, holding a phone to her ear. Her face was white with shock as she spoke with the operator. She hung up after a few minutes.

"They told me not to move him and to try and keep him warm," Caitlin told him in a trembling voice. "The ambulance will be here in a few minutes."

Joey barely registered what Caitlin was saying. "What have I done?" he whispered. _How could I have complained so carelessly like that? Why didn't I think that he would be home? That he would hear me? What am I going to do if he dies?_


	4. Guilt

Ellie had been on the phone with Ashley for nearly two hours and still hadn't gotten the chance to tell her about the rehab center. She had barely been able to get a word in edgewise. All Ashley talked about was Craig and her new fiancé, Peter.

"I mean, with Peter and me, it was love at first sight," Ashley was saying. "I knew in an instant that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Craig and I were more friends at first before it turned into anything else. And when I was with Pete in Italy I realized that was how I felt about Craig. Just friends." She sighed. "I just wish he hadn't come to surprise me in the airport like that. I wanted to break it to him gently. I tried calling him a few times before but there was no answer at his house."

Ellie frowned. "I hope everything is okay. Craig's not exactly stable, is he?"

"Well he's been fine for a really long time now. I really think he's got it under control." Ashley didn't sound too convinced. "He...he wouldn't do anything crazy, right?"

Eliie looked at her arm, which was now decorated with two fresh cuts. "I hope not."

* * *

Joey gripped Caitlin's hand tightly as they sat together in the empty waiting room of the emergency room. They had been waiting about an hour but it felt like a day.

The doctor had taken Craig into a room and a nurse had pretty much shut the doors in Joey's face when he tried to follow. One of the other nurses told him that it would be better for everyone if he just waited outside. So he did. But no one had come out of the room yet to let him know what was going on and he was debating about just barging in.

A minute later, however, the doctor finally emerged from the room. Joey leaped to his feet and hurried to meet her, Caitlin trailing not far behind. "What's going on?" Joey asked. "Is he okay?"_ Please let him be okay_.

The doctor held up her hands. "Calm down. Why don't we have a seat?"

_A seat? _Joey thought as he reluctantly followed the doctor to a cluster of chairs. _A seat as in everything's okay, so we can relax, or a seat as in you'd better sit down for this?_

"I'm Dr. Hollands," she said.

Joey bit his lip to keep from blurting out that he didn't care what her name was.

"You are Craig Manning's stepfather?" she continued. She consulted a chart in her hand. "Mr Jeremiah?"

Joey nodded. "Please, just tell me, is my son okay?" he asked desperately.

Dr. Hollands nodded. "Of course, I'm sorry. We got the medication before it hit his bloodstream. We pumped his stomach and removed what we believe is the majority of it. He's resting now."

"So that means he's okay?"

"Yes, he's going to be okay."

Caitlin's arms were around him in a crushing hug and he squeezed her right back. His eyes stung with tears of relief. "Thank God," Caitlin was murmuring.

Dr. Hollands cleared her throat after a minute. "There are a few things I need to discuss with you."

Joey pulled away from Caitlin, nodding. "Yes of course."

"From the information I gleamed from you, the paramedics and Craig's record, this looks like a...suicide attempt."

Joey nodded, swallowing hard. "I-I know."

"Were there any events that could have possibly triggered this? Anything recent that you know about?"

Joey glanced at Caitlin then down at his hands. Before he could answer, the doors to the room swung open and a gurney was wheeled out by two nurses. Joey immediately got to his feet and hurried over. Craig was lying there very still, but his chest moved up and down steadily and some color was returning to his cheeks.

He felt Caitlin's hand close over his shoulder. He turned to face her. "I did this," he whispered. "How am I going to tell them that it's my fault?"

"It's not," Caitlin told him firmly. "Craig has an illness that caused this. You didn't do anything."

Joey just shook his head. "If he hadn't have made it I don't know if I would have been able to forgive myself. I still don't know if I will be able to. Or if Craig will be able to."

Caitlin stroked his arm soothingly. "He will. I know he will."

Joey wasn't so sure.

* * *

**Okay I know it was short but I have some good stuff coming up soon (nice and long!) Don't forget to leave any thoughts or comments!**


	5. Leaving

Ellie reluctantly put the last of her things into the trunk of her mother's car. She slammed the trunk and it echoed in her brain with an eerie finality.

"All ready?" her mother asked, overly cheerful. She climbed into the drivers seat. Ellie took one last look at the house that she had returned to so briefly then opened the passenger side door and climbed in. Mrs. Nash started the car and Ellie watched her house slide out of sight as they pulled away from the curb.

They drove in silence for several minutes before Ellie finally spoke. "Mom? How long am I gonna have to stay at this place?"

"It's up to you, sweetie. Whenever they think you're ready to come home, they'll release you."

_Gee Mom, make it sound more like a prison_, Ellie thought as they slowed to a stop at a red light. She leaned her head against the window, watching a young couple walking along hand in hand. She missed Sean so much. She realized now that it was best for him to be with his parents, to mend their relationship, especially after what he had been through. However, it still hurt that he had left her.

"Ellie, it'll be okay." Her mother's voice interrupted her thoughts. "I know you don't want to go but it is for the best. You'll be glad afterwards." She patted her daughters arm before driving on as the light changed. "You'll see."

Ellie didn't answer. Part of her knew her mother was right and that she did need more help than the school could give her. However, there was still the part where she was being forced to leave her friends and normal life for who knew how long. Not to mention the fact that she had just gotten home and thought maybe things would finally get better for her.

They drove on silence for nearly a half an hour and Ellie began to drift asleep. Suddenly, her cell phone rang, jarring her awake. She fumbled in her bag until her hand closed around it then flipped it open.

"Hello?"

"El?"

Ellie's heart skipped a beat. "Sean?"

"How are you?"Sean's voice came through clear as though he were sitting right next to her. She wished he was.

"Um, I'm okay." Ellie could see out of the corner of her eye that her mother's grip had tightened on the steering wheel. "You?"

"Not too bad." He paused. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Ellie replied. She wished her mother wasn't sitting two feet away so she could speak more freely. "How are things with your parents?"

"They're good. A lot better. I really feel like they're my parents for once, you know?"

Ellie glanced at her mother who was staring straight ahead but obviously listening intently. "Yeah I know."

"What have you been up to?"

"Not a lot. I moved back home. My mom's home too."

"Oh really? She's out of rehab?"

"Yep." Ellie noticed the car slowing down and they turned into a parking lot. She looked up and saw a tall brick building that was surprisingly attractive. It had beautiful carvings on the molding that ran along the length of the roof and the front doors were gleaming mahogany. The walkway was lined with colorful flowers and neatly trimmed bushes.

"Ellie?"

"Huh?" Ellie realized Sean had been talking.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, sounding concerned. "You sound kinda distracted."

For some reason, Ellie didn't want to tell Sean about the rehab center. "Yeah I'm fine. I'm just, um, out with my mom. Shopping." She glanced at her mother who didn't respond to the lie. "Getting some stuff for back to school."

"Oh. Okay, I'll let you go then. I'm glad that things are going well."

"Okay, bye, Sean." Ellie quickly snapped her phone shut.

Mrs. Nash had pulled into a parking space by now. "That was Sean?" she asked casually.

"Yeah." Ellie started to get out of the car.

"Honey, why didn't you tell him the truth? Are you ashamed? Embarrassed?"

"No," Ellie said slowly. "I told Ash and Marco. I just...I don't know I felt weird telling him." She looked down, fumbling with the strap on her bag. "I-I'm not sure why."

Mrs. Nash sighed. "Well, you shouldn't have a problem telling him–if he really loves you, and you really trust him, then it shouldn't matter."

Ellie didn't answer, but just pushed open the car door and climbed out, blinking in the sunlight. She leaned heavily against the car, trying not to let her mother's words bother her. But they did because she knew they were true.

_Ugh,_ she thought as she went to help her mother unpack her things from the trunk. _What else can possibly go wrong?_

Just then her cell phone rang. It was Ashley and she was crying.

* * *

Craig had been asleep for all of Thursday and most of Friday. It wasn't until Friday evening that he started to wake up. He opened his eyes to unfamiliar surroundings and blinked several times, disoriented. The room he was in was dimly lit and it took him a minute to realize it was a hospital room. He sat up slightly and saw Joey sitting in a chair next to the bed, fast asleep. Then Craig remembered. Seeing Ashley, overhearing Joey, taking the pills—it all came flooding back to him, fast enough to knock him flat against his pillow. He put his hands over his face, unable to believe what he had done. The image of himself in the mirror right before he had taken the pills didn't seem to resemble the Craig he knew at all. But it had been him. The proof was all around him—the hospital room, the IV stuck in his arm, the incessant beeping of the heart monitor.

"Craig?"

Craig lowered his hands slowly and turned to face Joey who was sitting upright in his chair. "Hey."

"How are you feeling?" Joey asked quietly, the expression on his face unreadable.

"I'm okay." Craig's insides were turning over what he had done, but he was surprised to find that he really didn't feel too bad considering what had happened.

Joey nodded. Craig noticed he hadn't made eye contact with him at all. "Joey, I–"

"Craig–"

"You go ahead," Joey said quickly.

"No it's okay, you go," Craig replied.

"No you first."

"Really you can–"

"Just go ahead, Craig!" Joey nearly shouted. Craig automatically flinched and Joey closed his eyes. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...I just thought that I owe you at least the right to speak first."

Craig was confused by his words but continued anyway. "Well, I just wanted to say that I'm really really sorry for doing this. For putting you through this. I can't believe I did it and I promise I'll pay you back for the medication and hospital bill and everything."

Joey shook his head quickly. "No, no, no, don't even say that." He sighed. "I know you overheard what I said to Caitlin but I didn't mean it the way it came out. I would never stop paying for anything for you. I'm having some hard times but it's not your fault. Not at all." Joey sank back into his chair looking pained. "I'm the one who should be apologizing. It was my fault you did this–"

"Your fault?" Craig interrupted. "No, Joey it wasn't." He felt his insides twist up further as he thought about Ashley. "When I went to pick up Ash at the airport..." He took a deep breath, unwilling to say the words, to cement the truth. "She's engaged. To someone else."

Joey's eyes widened. "What? Oh, Craig, I'm sorry."

Craig nodded. "So it's really not your fault. That plus this stupid bi-polar thing was the real reason. That was kinda just was the catalyst."

Joey nodded slowly. "Still, I'm sorry." He leaned forward to give Craig a quick hug. "You gave us a real scare, Craig. I'm glad you're alright." He pulled away. "And I want to make sure nothing like this happens again."

"Oh it won't," Craig said quickly. "I've learned my lesson big time. I won't do anything like this ever again." It was just starting to hit him that he almost died and the thought made him physically shiver.

"I'm glad you feel that way," Joey replied. "But I have to know that it won't happen again."

"Okaaay," Craig said slowly. "Well I told you I wouldn't."

"Yeah but I"m sorry, Craig, your word isn't enough. I need to be sure that you're okay."

"Well, how can you be sure?"

Joey took a breath. "I was talking to the doctor here as well as your psychiatrist and they both suggested the same thing. There...there's a mental health clinic not too far away. They suggest you spend some time there."

"What you mean some sort of institution?" A picture sprang into Craig's mind of padded walls, strong mean nurses and strait jackets.

"No it's not an institution. It's just a place where you can get help. The kind of help you need." Joey put his hand over Craig's. "I just want you to get better Craig. I don't want to lose you. I can't..." Joey trailed off, swallowing hard.

"Okay, okay," Craig said quickly. "Joey, it's okay. I'll go. Really." He cleared his throat. "So what is this place anyway?"

Joey handed him the brochure.

Craig read aloud. "Toronto's best mental health clinic." He looked at Joey and shrugged. "Doesn't sound too bad."

* * *

**Okay, phew that was a long chapter so it may be a day or two before I can get the next one up. Meanwhile, don't forget to review and I will get it up ASAP. **


	6. A New Home

Ellie had been in the building for about five minutes and already started to feel closed in and trapped. The building was as nice inside as it was outside with light blue walls covered in beautiful paintings, high ceilings, and flowers on every intricately carved table. However, to Ellie, it seemed too perfect, too manufactured, too unreal. Even the staff that she had come into contact with appeared to be phony and overly friendly.

Currently, they were checking in at the front desk with a receptionist named Cindy. When she said her name, she was so perky that she extended the 'y' much farther than was usual. It took everything in Ellie to keep from laughing at the woman.

"Ellie, you're going to have a fine time here, don't you worry about a thing," Cindy was telling her. "We've got the best, friendliest staff around and they're going to help you as much as possible." She handed Mrs. Nash some forms to sign.

Ellie managed a weak smile. She glanced around and saw for the first time, a patient. It was a young girl, about twelve, and she was being led by a nurse through the lobby. The girl walked with her head down, taking quick short steps. Her stringy blond hair hung in her eyes but Ellie saw her steal a glance up every once in a while. At one point the girl's eyes met Ellie's but she quickly looked back at the ground and hurried past them.

"Ellie, hon." Mrs. Nash gently touched her daughter's shoulder. "Are you listening?"

Ellie started then turned to face Cindy and her mother. "I'm sorry, what?"

"We're going to get you settled in your room now," Cindy said. "Your mother is going to talk to one of our doctors and I'll take you up there, okay? Someone else will get your luggage for you."

Ellie looked reluctantly at her mother who smiled encouragingly. "Go on, sweetie, I'll be up in a few minutes."

Ellie followed Cindy down the hall to an elevator. As they waited, Cindy smiled at her cheerfully.

"Don't worry about your mother. She'll be coming up to meet with us shortly. Besides, perhaps it's better that you're alone. You can start to get acquainted with your roommate."

"Roommate?" cried Ellie in dismay.

Cindy's smile faded at the outburst but she quickly replaced it with a fresh one. "I'm sure that you two will get along just wonderfully. She's a nice girl." The elevator arrived just then and the two of them stepped inside. Ellie watched the numbers flick past...two...three...four...five. Finally they stopped on the seventh floor with a ding and the doors slid open. Ellie peered out cautiously into the corridor. It was painted the rosy color of a late sunset and there were white doors on either side going all the way down the hall to the window at the end.

"This way," Cindy sang happily, leading Ellie past several doors before stopping at room 712. "Here we are." She rapped on the door then tried the handle. "Oh I guess Haile isn't here right now. She's probably in session. I'm sure she'll be back soon." She slipped a card into the electronic lock on the door then handed it to Ellie. "This is your key." She then pushed open the door and Ellie followed her slowly inside.

The room was dark but when Cindy flicked the switch on the wall, it burst into vibrant color. The walls were a pale yellow and the comforters were the same only with orange flowers as well. One side of the room was clearly Haile's as it had posters of various celebrities on the walls and other personal belongings on the night stand and dresser. The open closet seemed stuffed full with clothes. Ellie was relieved to note that there was a dividing curtain in the middle of the room though it hung open right now. She also noticed that the window had chicken wire across it though it had been attempted to be masked by gauzy white curtains.

"I-it's nice," Ellie said suspecting that Cindy was waiting for her to comment. "Uh, cozy."

Cindy's smile broadened. "Ah, see I told you that you would like it. I'm going to go find your mother so I can lead her up here. Why don't you just relax and we'll be back in a jiffy." She turned and left, closing the door behind her.

Ellie sat down heavily on the empty bed and studied her roommate's side more carefully. The posters were that of various boy bands and other popular male celebrities. The clothes on the bed were mostly pink, baby blue and yellow. Ellie got up to look at a picture frame on the girl's night stand. It was of a group of three obviously close friends, all girls. Looking at them, Ellie wondered which one was Haile. Ellie leaned in closer, studying them one by one. They all looked so happy, so well adjusted. She couldn't imagine any of them having such a problem that would bring them to a place like this.

Then again, a year ago, Ellie would have never imagined herself in a place like this one either.

* * *

Craig had been released from the hospital Saturday afternoon after a morning of tests that determined his health to be up to standards. Joey had driven him home then left to pick up Angela from her grandmother's house, instructing Craig to start packing.

Craig trudged up the stairs to his room as Joey left obediently, but upon reaching his room, fell onto his bed, throwing an arm across his forehead. He had tried to pretend like he was willing to go to the clinic but in reality, he was completely dreading it. He had pretended to be optimistic only for Joey's sake. Craig had seen the guilt and worry in his step father's eyes and didn't want to create any more waves. He had already created a monsoon with his latest actions. Still he didn't want to go to the clinic, to be away from his friends and Angie.

The phone rang just then, jarring him out of his thoughts. He contemplated letting it ring but finally pulled himself to his feet and answered it. There was some muffled choking sounds and someone brokenly said his name.

"Uh, who is this?" he asked, frowning.

"Craig, I-I'm so sorry," the voice continued and he thought he recognized it.

"Ash?" He twisted the telephone cord around his fingers nervously. "Is that you?"

"Yes it is." Ashley's voice sounded a bit calmer and her sniffles had died down. "A-are you okay?"

"Yeah Ash, I'm okay. Um, did Joey talk to you or something?"

"I called yesterday and Caitlin told me what happened. I'm so sorry Craig. For everything. I didn't mean for it to happen and I didn't want you to find out like that." Ashley sounded like she was going to start crying again.

"I know you didn't," Craig said. It still hurt just as badly to think about her and her new fiancé but at least he didn't feel the urge to break anything now. "I...I'll be okay. I'll deal with it."

"Still, I feel awful. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes, Ashley, really, I'm fine." Craig swallowed hard. "How is...what's his name, anyway?"

Ashley was silent for a moment before replying. "Peter."

"Does he go to Degrassi?" Craig asked, morbid curiosity overcoming him.

"Uh, no he goes to Bardell. He was just on the same internship as me." Craig could tell Ashley was uncomfortable with the questions he was asking and the vindictive part of him wanted to keep going. However, just then the door to his room opened and Angela bounded inside.

"Craig!" she cried happily, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Hey there, Ange," he said smiling down at his sister. Then he turned his attention back to the phone. "Uh, Ash I gotta go. See ya lat–see ya." He hung up then tossed the phone aside and bent to pick Angela up into a tight hug. "Hi kiddo."

"Are you all better?" she asked. "I missed you when you were sick."

Craig nodded. "I missed you too." He felt a surge of emotion looking at the girl. He still couldn't believe that he had attempted to leave her forever. "A lot."

"Daddy says you're going away again," Angela pouted.

Craig playfully chucked her under the chin. "Yeah. But don't be sad. I won't be gone too long." _Hopefully, _he added in his mind. "And you can call me whenever you want and I'll definitely call you lots."

"Where are you going?" she asked, cocking her head.

"Umm, well remember when I was sick a few months ago and it made me act crazy? Well, I'm going to place that will help me make sure I never ever do anything like that again."

Angela nodded slowly then glanced over to the door where Joey had entered. "Hey guys. Craig, don't forget we're leaving tomorrow. You'd better get started packing."

Craig nodded. "I'll get it done." He set Angela down on the floor then pulled his suitcase out from under the bed. Usually he liked packing. It held the promise of an adventure, a new experience. This time, however, he wished he was doing anything else right now.

_Well at least it'll certainly be an adventure_, he thought wryly.


	7. Resolutions

Ellie had finally hung up the last of her clothes and turned to her mother. Mrs. Nash looked tearfully at her daughter before enveloping her into an embrace.

"I'll miss you, Ellie," Mrs. Nash whispered into her daughter's hair. "I'll visit whenever I can. And you can call me whenever you want too."

"Okay, I will," Ellie replied. She had begun to feel more and more resentful towards her mother for sending her away and returned the hug stiffly. "Bye."

Mrs. Nash pulled away taking a long look at Ellie. "Bye, honey." She gave her a kiss on the cheek before turning to leave. When the door was finally closed gently, Ellie perched on her bed. Before she could even begin to collect her thoughts the door to the room swung open and a girl about her age walked in and stopped abruptly upon seeing Ellie.

Haile was very pretty, tall with short chestnut hair and a slender figure. Her high cheekbones and clear blue eyes just added to her natural beauty.

"Hi," she said slowly. "You must be...Elena?"

"Ellie." She stood up to shake Haile's hand quickly. "Nice to meet you."

"You too. I'm Haile by the way." She went over to her side of the room and began sifting through the clothes on the bed. "I'm just stopping in to change into something nice for dinner." She indicated her baggy sweatshirt and pajama pants.

"Oh." Ellie nodded slowly. "So, um, how do you like it here?"

Haile picked up a lacy blue tank top and shrugged. "It's okay. I've been at worse places."

"Why–I mean, how long have you been here?" Ellie had almost asked the girl why she was here but realized that it was probably something she wouldn't want to share after knowing her for five minutes. Ellie knew she certainly didn't have any desire to show Haile her arms anytime soon.

Haile tossed the tank top aside. "Um, a couple of weeks." She finally tossed a pair of jeans and a pink tube top over her arm then headed into the bathroom and shut the door.

_Seems friendly,_ Ellie thought sarcastically. She went to unpack her CD's and began to stack them on her dresser as Haile came out of the bathroom.

"Oh yeah just one thing, I can't sleep with music on," Haile said. "Or a light."

"Um, sure," Ellie replied.

"But you can go ahead and play your..." Haile picked up a CD then wrinkled her nose in disdain. "Led Zepplin now. I won't be here for the next couple of hours."

"Thanks," Ellie replied, wondering if her roommate would catch her sarcasm.

"Your welcome," Haile replied. She apparently didn't.

There was a knock at the door then and it opened to reveal a tall good-looking young man casually leaning against the doorframe. He wore khaki slacks and a button down shirt, looking as though he had just stepped out of a J. Crew ad. Behind him was another guy with dark spiky hair and dressed all in black.

"Haile, you ready?" the first one asked, glancing at Ellie curiously.

"Just one second, Jesse," Haile said, running a brush through her straight hair. She took one last look in the mirror then nodded. "Okay all set." She saw him looking at Ellie. "Oh yeah, Ellie this is my boyfriend, Jesse, Jess, this is Ellie my new roommate." She noticed the guy behind Jesse and hastily added, "And that's Andrew, his brother." She slipped a white purse over her shoulder then headed for the door. "I'll be back in a little while." She turned to Jesse. "Where is the restaurant again?"

"Just a couple of blocks away."

"Oh I thought you weren't allowed to leave the clinic," Ellie said, confused.

Haile looked up at Jesse and they both laughed. "Is some stupid rule like that supposed to stop us?" She shook her head at Ellie. "Don't worry, hon, you'll figure it out." With that she flounced out the door with Jesse and Andrew right behind her.

Ellie immediately popped in her CD and turned it up to full volume. She collapsed onto her bed, her hands over her face. _I feel like I'm rooming with Paige. No wait, Paige's evil twin_. She couldn't imagine a worse match.

There was a sharp knock at the door and Ellie reluctantly got up to open it. It was Cindy who was smiling as brightly as ever. "Hi Ellie, did you meet your roommate?"

Ellie nodded.

"Didn't I tell you she was a nice girl?"

"Uh yeah you did." When Ellie didn't elaborate Cindy cleared her throat.

"Well I just wanted to let you know that dinner is being served downstairs until eight and then it's lights out at 11:30, okay?" Cindy glanced at the stereo blasting the Nirvana CD. "Oh and no loud music, okay?"

Ellie suppressed a grimace and just nodded.

"I'll come get you tomorrow morning to meet with some of the doctors. Breakfast is at 7 until 10. After all that you get the day to yourself. We don't usually have any sessions on Sundays. Have a good night!" Cindy bounced off and Ellie rolled her eyes before closing the door and lowering her music. She definitely wasn't going to go down to dinner tonight. She had decided on a course of action—cooperate with whoever she had to in order to get out of this place as quickly as possible. She had no desire to socialize with the other patients, even make friends with her roommate.

The time dragged by the rest of the night until 11:30. Her roommate still hadn't returned but Ellie wasn't worried—Haile was clearly the rebellious type. She flicked off the switch and crawled into bed, exhausted after the long day. She heard the door creak open a few minutes later, and she saw a shadowy figure tiptoe into the room. As Haile made her way across the room, the door opened again slowly and Haile dove into her bed. Ellie watched through half open eyes as an unfamiliar woman poked her head into the room, then apparently satisfied, gently closed the door.

"Phew," Haile whispered. "That was close, huh?"

"Yeah," Ellie replied shortly. She turned over, trying to send the hint that she was ready to go to sleep but Haile didn't take it.

"That restaurant we went to was really good. Beats the crap they serve here." Haile climbed out of bed and flicked on the lamp. Ellie winced at the sudden brightness, suppressing a groan. "And then we went to this club which was insanely packed but still fun." Haile fumbled in a drawer and pulled out a pair of pajamas. "Oh yeah and Andrew was asking about you."

This caught Ellie's attention. "Huh?"

Haile's lips curved into a devilish grin. "I heard him telling Jesse that he thought you were cute, that's all." She shrugged. "I guess he's into that whole punked out thing for some reason. I mean, no offense." She flashed a smile before turning and heading into the bathroom.

Ellie rolled her eyes then got up and turned off the lamp. As she climbed into bed she couldn't help but think of what Haile had said. Andrew had been kind of good-looking...no. She had promised herself that she wouldn't get invested in anyone here. She especially didn't want a relationship right now.

_Love has screwed me over too many times in the past_, she thought grimly. _Never ever again_.

* * *

**Next chapter will be the thing that some of you have been waiting for...please leave any comments, thoughts, corrections, whatever!**

**PS thanks to PrideXxXxX for pointing out my silly mistake lol :-)**


	8. Surprises

Craig arrived at the clinic late Sunday morning. They had intended on arriving earlier but they had trouble fitting all of Craig's things into Joey's small car. Craig finally had to rest his guitar on his lap and fit his camera equipment on the floor around his feet. By the time they reached the clinic, his legs were so cramped he could barely stand. After he hobbled around the parking lot for a minute to restore the circulation, he and Joey went into the building. They went up to the front desk and Craig took a quick glance around.

_Pretty fancy place_, he thought. _Maybe it won't be so bad here after all._

"Hi!" the receptionist said perkily. "I'm Linda. You are?"

"This is Craig Manning and I'm his step-father Joey Jeremiah," Joey introduced them. "That's Manning with two n's."

Linda tapped out a few words on the computer then nodded. "Yes, you're in here. We have a room for you all ready. I'm going to print out some forms for you to sign and then we'll get started, okay?"

Joey nodded and began to sign the sheets she handed him. Craig took another quick glance around then took a double take upon seeing Ellie Nash walking across the lobby.

"Ellie?" he called out involuntarily.

She started and looked up at him. Her black rimmed eyes widened in surprise. "Craig!"

Craig excused himself then walked over to her. "What are you doing here?"

Ellie looked down at her feet. "Um, you know, just visiting someone. Someone who is staying here." She glanced back up at him then back down again.

"Oh yeah me too," Craig replied quickly. "Just visiting. That's a funny coincidence."

"Yeah it sure is," Ellie said. "Um, I talked to Ashley. Is everything okay?"

Craig nodded. "Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. Uh thanks for asking."

"Your welcome." Ellie looked around. "Um, well I gotta go. You know, visit that person."

"Yeah I should go too. Visit. See ya."

"Yeah see ya." Ellie flashed him a brief smile then hurried away and disappeared down a hall. Craig watched her go then went back over to where Joey and Linda were waiting for him.

"Who was that?" Joey asked, frowning.

"Oh just a girl I know from school. She's here visiting someone." Craig crossed his arms across his chest. "Is everything all set?"

"Yeah I've got to talk to a doctor right now but Linda will take you up to your room." Joey patted him on the arm. "Everything looks really good here, Craig."

Craig nodded then followed Linda up a flight of stairs to the second floor. They turned a few corners before stopping in front of room 231. She knocked and the door flew open a second later to reveal a young man who appeared to be just a year or two older than Craig.

"Hi, Bradley," Linda said cheerfully. "How are we doing today?"

"Fine," Bradley replied, looking at Craig curiously.

"This is Craig Manning. He's going to be your new roommate. Craig, this is Bradley Keller."

Craig took Bradley's hand shaking it briefly. "Hi, nice to meet you." Bradley smiled at him and Craig felt relieved that his roommate seemed to be friendly at least. Linda stepped into the room and Craig followed. He stood by one of the beds, sticking his hands into his pockets as he looked around. The room barely looked lived in. There were no posters or personal decorations anywhere on the blue walls and the top of the dresser only held some toiletries and an alarm clock. Both beds were immaculately done, the navy comforters wrinkle free and the pillows lined up perfectly.

"Well I'll let you two get acquainted," Linda said with a bright smile. "Craig, I'll be by later to talk to you about what we've got planned for tomorrow, okay?"

When she left, Craig let out a sigh.

"They're always like that," Bradley told him.

"Great," Craig replied with a half smile. "I don't know if I'll be able to take it."

Bradley shrugged. "You'll get used to it." He peered at Craig. "So how old are you, anyway?"

"I'm 16," Craig told him.

The other man let out a low whistle. "You're young. I'm 23."

Craig raised his eyebrows in surprise. Bradley's face had a boyish look to it with shaggy blond hair, no facial hair and an easy smile; his lanky figure added to the image that he was younger than twenty-three. "Oh, I thought there was only teenagers here," Craig said trying to explain his surprise.

"They take anyone younger than 25," Bradley told them. "Didn't expect to be rooming with someone your age. Not that I mind," he added hastily. "I just didn't expect it that's all. But it's cool. You seem like a nice guy."

"Yeah you too," Craig replied.

Just then the door to the room opened a crack and Joey poked his head inside. "Hey."

"Hey, Joey, you can come on in. This is my stepfather, Joey, and this is Bradley my roommate." Craig helped Joey lug a suitcase inside the room then went back for his guitar and camera equipment. Eventually all his belongings were piled on the floor by his bed.

"Do you want me to stay and help you unpack?" Joey asked.

"Nah, I can handle it by myself," Craig replied. There was a pause before Joey walked over to give the boy an awkward hug.

"Just...get better okay?" Joey whispered. "Angie and Caitlin and I will always be here for you. And call us whenever you need to. We'll try and call and visit as much as possible." He patted his stepson on the back before pulling away.

Craig managed a smile. "Thanks Joey. Bye."

"Bye. Oh and nice meeting you Bradley," Joey added as he left.

"You too," Bradley called after him. Once the door was shut, there was an awkward silence before Bradley spoke. "Uh, do you need help unpacking?"

Craig shook his head quickly. "No thanks, I'm okay." He bent down to unzip a suitcase.

"Oh hey, you play guitar?" Bradley asked suddenly. He was smiling and knelt beside his own bed and pulled out a guitar case. "Me too."

Craig grinned, feeling lucky that he might actually make a good friend here. His first thought upon here arriving seemed to be fairly accurate—it wouldn't be so bad here after all.

* * *

**Ok so right now I'm about to start my Thanksgiving break and may not get a chance to update till I get back on Monday (but who knows it may be earlier). So please be patient and review in the meantime! :-)**


	9. Secrets Revealed & Kept

Ellie couldn't believe that she had seen Craig of all people here. The coincidence was almost too big to believe.

_I wonder if he bought my excuse_, she thought as she walked down the hall to meet with one of the doctors. She looked up at the numbers above the doors she passed and stopped once she reached room 140. Taking a deep breath, she knocked gently. She heard footsteps inside then the door opened and a young dark-haired woman stood in front of her.

"Um, hi," Ellie said hesitantly. "I'm looking for Dr. Peterson."

The woman nodded briskly. "That's me. Are you Ellie Nash?"

"Yeah." Ellie was surprised at how young Dr. Peterson was. She looked no older than thirty with straight shoulder-length hair and square black glasses. The stylish black blazer and slim fitting pants she wore only added to her youth.

Dr. Peterson stepped aside to allow Ellie into the office then shut the door behind her.

Ellie tried to casually glance around the office, taking as much as she could in. Dr. Peterson's desk was rather messy with papers strewn about and several books lying open. Along the wall behind it was two book cases, filled not only with books but also picture frames, various ceramic knickknacks and plants. The wall on the right held two framed diplomas while the wall opposite it was blank.

Dr. Peterson motioned for her to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of the desk while she settled herself into the big cushioned chair behind it.

"So, Ellie." Dr. Peterson fumbled through the papers on the desk until she found a folder and opened it. "I'm Dr. Kate Peterson. I'm going to be the main doctor you will be seeing, although you will see others during your group sessions." She flipped a page. "You're here because you cut yourself, correct?"

Ellie was slightly surprised by the woman's bluntness but nodded.

Dr. Peterson peered at the paper in her hand. "Your mother was recently in rehab for alcoholism and your father is in the army. And you were seeing someone at your high school about the cutting." She looked up at Ellie as though for confirmation.

Ellie nodded again. "Yeah I was seeing the counselor at my school."

"Wasn't helping, I'm assuming."

Ellie shrugged. "Um, it helped a little, I guess."

"If you're still doing it then it wasn't helping," Dr Peterson replied. She cleared her throat. "We will help you here. I have dealt with many kids who were doing the same exact thing as you and they're doing fine now, years later. They were committed though. They knew they had a problem and needed help and were willing to do all that they could to get better. Are you committed, Ellie?"

Ellie nodded quickly. "Yes."

"Now because today is Sunday, this is the only meeting you will have but here is your schedule for each week." She handed Ellie a piece of paper. "It tells you where your group sessions or meetings with me will be and what time."

Ellie took the paper and studied it. "Wait, this goes on for two months."

Dr. Peterson nodded. "Yes."

"I'm going to be here for two months?!"

Dr. Peterson narrowed her eyes. "Maybe more. It takes a lot of time to heal, Ellie. It is possible you can get out sooner but that is the average amount of time patients usually stay here."

Ellie sank back in her chair with a sigh. _Great two months in this place._

"You said you were committed, Ellie," Dr. Peterson continued. "If you really are, then you have to be willing to take the time out." She stood up abruptly. "And if you're not then I suggest you save your parents' money and just leave now."

Ellie raised her eyebrows, taken aback. "N-no–"

Dr. Peterson walked around the desk. "I want to help you but I can't unless you want to be helped." She went over to the door and opened it. "I suggest you don't come back to this office until you're ready to honestly tell me you're committed."

Ellie slowly got up and left the room, dumbstruck. As the door closed behind her, she realized that getting out of here was going to be a lot harder than she thought.

* * *

Bradley had left the room a few minutes after Craig had arrived in order to go see a doctor. He promised he would come back soon to give Craig a tour of the building and then go down to lunch.

Craig sat on his bed for a little while, trying to get acquainted with his new surroundings. As he stared at Bradley's side of the room, he noticed for the first time a small picture frame on the night stand. Glancing around the room, as though he might get caught for doing something wrong, Craig rose and picked it up so he could study it. It was Bradley with an older man and woman that Craig assumed were his parents. Bradley wore a United States Navy uniform with gleaming medals dangling from it.

_Hmm he never mentioned he was from the States,_ Craig thought. _Or that he was in the Navy. Wonder why._

Craig was so involved in his thoughts, he didn't hear the door open and didn't realize he was no longer alone in the room anymore until Bradley said, "Hey."

Craig started, nearly dropping the picture frame. He managed to catch it before it hit the ground and quickly set it back on the dresser. "Nothing! I mean, hi."

Bradley smiled at him. "Sorry to startle you. The doctor I was supposed to see was with someone so I have to go back this evening. And it's okay. I don't mind you looking at my picture. I didn't leave it on display in order to hide it. Besides, you gotta be pretty curious as to why I didn't mention I was in the Navy and why I'm here if I'm from the US."

Craig shrugged, trying to be casual. "The thought kinda crossed my mind."

"Well, I had joined the Navy when I was eighteen just like my dad did. We got sent overseas and I realized in about two seconds that it wasn't the right life for me and came back." Bradley sat down on his bed so he was facing Craig. "And as for why I'm here, well, my parents split about two years ago and my mom moved up here and I moved with her until I could get myself a steady job. So now I'm a Canadian, eh?" He grinned at Craig who smiled back.

"Okay I guess that explanation is to my satisfaction," Craig joked. He had to admit he was curious as to why Bradley was here in the clinic but didn't know exactly how to approach the subject. So for now, he decided he would remain quiet and just let Bradley tell him when he was ready. Craig felt as though Bradley seemed trustworthy enough for him to share the reason he was here but figured Bradley didn't feel the same way yet.

"Anyway so are you ready for the grand tour?"

Craig nodded eagerly. "Absolutely. You gotta tell me everything you know about this place." He was on Bradley's heels as they left the room. "You know, how to get around the nurses and security guards, sneaking out, these group session things, the other patients–I wanna know everything."

"Okay, hopefully we'll get to all of that," Bradley replied with a smile as he led him to the elevator. They took it down to the lobby. "Okay, well you probably came through here when you signed in but there are some important things you should know." He pointed to a large balding man in a suit who was seated in a chair by the doors. "That's Security Guard Bill. He's the one who's here everyday until about five. Don't even bother trying to sneak out when he's around. I've seen him tackle patients and it wasn't pretty."

Craig's eyebrows shot up "Really?"

Bradley laughed shaking his head. "No he's never tackled anyone. They don't believe in violence here unless you're seriously asking for it. But he does have eyes like a hawk and he'll have a half a dozen super-perky nurses on you before you can even turn the handle on the door."

"Okay, so no sneaking out around Bill. What about other security guards?"

"The ones that are here at night are much easier to get around. See that door over there?" Bradley pointed to a small one behind the front desk. "It leads to another office which has a door to the garden. You can easily hop the fence if you wanna get out of this place at night. There's no one behind the desk at night and if you're quick you can get from the stairs to behind the desk without being seen."

Craig tried to remember everything that Bradley was telling him. "Okay, so sneaking out, check. What else?"

Bradley led him down one of the corridors. "These are where most of the doctors' offices are. You'll probably be meeting yours sometime today. Sunday's the big private meeting day. Oh and as long as you're good, you get pretty much free range to go anywhere in the building. The real cases are mostly on the ninth and tenth floors and they have nurses to take them wherever they go."

Craig heard a door open behind them and turned around to see Ellie standing there, apparently having just left one of the offices. She looked very confused.

"Ellie?" he said, slowly approaching her. _What is she doing in this wing?_

Ellie jumped and whirled around to face them. "Craig. Again. Hi."

"What are you doing in this section? I thought you were visiting someone." Craig looked at Bradley. "Don't most of the patients live upstairs?" Bradley nodded and raised an eyebrow at Ellie.

"Um, well, I was just...wait, I thought you said you were visiting someone too. What are _you_ doing here?" Ellie crossed her arms over her chest.

Craig searched his mind for an answer but knew there was no feasible one. But if he was caught, so was Ellie. "Are you...staying here, Ellie?" he finally asked.

Ellie stared at him for a long minute before nodding. "Yeah. I am. I'm assuming you are too?"

Craig nodded. He was dying to ask her what she was here for but was cut off by her letting out a loud sigh.

She motioned to the room she had just exited. "Had my first meeting with a doctor. Which might be my last," she added, rolling her eyes.

"Oh you have Dr. Peterson," Bradley said knowingly. "Yeah she's tough but very cool. I heard their success rate went up a lot since she's been here."

"That's doubtful considering she just kicked me out of her office," Ellie told them. "Some doctor."

"You realize she can probably hear you," Craig said, nodding his head towards the door.

Ellie shrugged. "I don't care."

"Why don't we get on out of this hallway anyway?" Bradley suggested, glancing back and forth between Ellie and Craig.

"Oh yeah this is my roommate Bradley, by the way," Craig said quickly as they headed back into the main lobby. "This is Ellie. I go to school with her."

"Nice to meet you," Bradley said politely.

"Well I have to go report to one of the annoyingly perky nurses now so I'll see you guys later." Ellie turned and walked across the lobby to the receptionist desk.

"Seems pleasant," Bradley remarked dryly.

"Yeah Ellie's just full of sunshine," Craig replied, watching her talking to the woman at the desk. "Gotta admit I'm curious to know what she's in for." He glanced at Bradley then took a deep breath. "Just so you know, I...I'm bi-polar. That's why I'm here. I thought I had it under control, and well, I didn't." He looked at Bradley who was looking down at the ground.

"Hope this place works for you," was all Bradley said. Then he looked up at Craig. "So you ready for lunch?"

"Sure," Craig replied slowly and he followed his mysterious roommate to the elevators.


	10. Discoveries

After Bradley had showed Craig everything he could think of in the building, they decided to go down to lunch. The cafeteria was in the basement of the building but looked as though it belonged in a mansion. It boasted several long shiny wooden tables each with a dozen cushioned chairs on either side. Landscape paintings hung on the walls and soft light streamed in from high circular windows. There was a line of patients waiting for food and from what Craig could see, the steaming food on their plates looked delicious.

"Yeah the food's pretty good here," Bradley told him as they joined the line. "And you can order in if you want also."

They went through the line rather quickly and after they had piled their tray with chicken, rice and pasta, Craig stood uncertainly, searching the tables for a spot. "Do you have anyone you usually sit with?"

Bradley shrugged. "There's a couple of people I sit with sometimes. Mostly just to sit with someone. We're not really buddy buddy or anything."

Craig suddenly spotted Ellie sitting alone at the end of a table. On the other end sat a group of three girls and two boys, all chattering and laughing merrily. Craig was reminded of his own school cafeteria as he nudged Bradley and motioned for them to go sit by her.

Ellie had her head down, pretending to be absorbed in her food but Craig noticed her eyes glancing down the table at the other group. When they approached her, she looked up and managed a tiny smile. "Hey guys."

Craig sat down across from her while Bradley pulled out the chair next to him. "So. What do you think of this place so far?"

Ellie just gave him a look.

"I guess you don't care for it." Craig shrugged. "I don't like being put in a place like this and I've only been here for today, but I mean, it doesn't seem as bad as I pictured." He took a bite of chicken. "And the food definitely does not suck."He loaded his spoon up with rice.

"Yeah, my roommate said that it was crap but I think it's great," Ellie said. She twirled spaghetti around her fork. "I don't know what she was talking about. Then again, she seems like the type who eats in gourmet restaurants and has caviar as a midnight snack."

Bradley wrinkled his nose. "Oh one of those types. Let me guess." He nodded towards the group at the end of their table. "She looks like one of those girls?" Craig looked up. Two were blond, one obviously fake, with slim fitting t-shirts on and plenty of makeup. The other was a brunette wearing less makeup but the same tight t-shirt and expensive looking jewelry.

"Um, actually she is one of them. The brunette."

"Oh. Why aren't you sitting with her?" Craig asked, frowning.

Ellie looked down at herself then at her roommate. "Um, well we're kinda different. She kinda just blew me off once we came in here."

Bradley looked at his watch suddenly. "Oh shoot, I was supposed to call my mother twenty minutes ago. I'll be back in a few minutes." He stood and hurried out of the cafeteria.

"So it seems like you lucked out in the roommate department," Ellie remarked after a minute.

Craig nodded. "Yeah Bradley's really great. He still hasn't told me what he's here for though." _And neither have you_, he added silently.

Ellie looked down her nearly empty plate then looked back up at Craig. "I guess I should tell you why I'm here, it's only fair." She bit her lip suddenly as though she had let something slip that she shouldn't have.

"Wait, why is it only fair? Do you already...do you know anything?"

Ellie sighed. "Okay, see before...Ash told me. But it was only because she was really upset and needed to talk to someone. She felt really guilty."

Craig just sat there. He couldn't believe that Ashley had told Ellie what had happened. "So she told you everything?"

"Pretty much."

"That's real sweet of her. Especially after what she did to me."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Don't pretend to be the victim Craig."

"What? I am the victim!"

"Like you didn't do exactly the same thing to her?" Ellie raised her eyebrows at him. "Do you remember a girl named Manny?"

"Well, yeah I did but this is different. She's _marrying_ him, Ellie. At least I realized that Manny was a huge mistake and that Ash was the one. Well she was supposed to be anyway...clearly the feeling wasn't mutual. Anyway, wouldn't you be upset if Sean had cheated on you?"

"For your information, Sean and I are no longer dating."

"Oh. Really? Why not?" This was news to Craig. He hadn't talked to Sean very often ever since the boy had moved back to Wasaga Beach.

Ellie shrugged. "Long distance relationships really are hard. And we both had other issues."

Craig nodded slowly. "So you never told me what your issue is."

Ellie sighed. "Right. That." She slowly lifted up her sleeve to show him the scars on her arm, careful to hide it from anyone else who might be looking. "This is it."

Craig's eyes widened upon seeing her arm. He knew that there had been something going on with Ellie after seeing her leaving and entering the counselor's office at school so often. He had assumed it had to do with her parents; he never suspected anything like this. Unsure of what to say, Craig just looked at Ellie. Staring straight into her brown eyes, he could see a world of pain that he had never noticed before. The kind of pain that he still had; the kind that might never heal.

Then Ellie blinked and her eyes were the same as they had always been. She rolled down her sleeve quickly. "So there you go. That's my big secret."She stood up abruptly, picking up her tray. "I have to get going. See ya around, Craig."

"Wait!" The word burst out of Craig without him even realizing. "Um, what room are you staying in?"

Ellie hesitated for a minute before replying, "712." Then she turned and hurried away, leaving Craig alone with his new confusing thoughts.

* * *

**Ok this chapter was kinda short I know but I have a lot of schoolwork coming up so I'm updating as often as I can in case I don't get a chance later in the week (or next week). Anyway, so hope you like :-)**


	11. Bonding

Ellie left the cafeteria and nearly crashed right into Bradley on his way back inside.

"Whoa there, where's the fire?" he said as they steadied themselves.

"Sorry," Ellie muttered. "Didn't see you." She hurried away, unwilling to talk to anyone more. Right now, she needed to just be alone and think.

She took the elevator up to her room, unlocked the door quickly then threw herself down on the bed. Everything was wrong. This place, her doctor, her roommate, Craig...

_Why is he here of all people?_ She wondered. _I don't even like him after what happened two years ago with Ash._

Before that though, things had been different. She had pitied him after all the things he had gone through with his parents. She knew what kinds of things families could put you through and understood the pain he was feeling. But then he had cheated on Ashley and after seeing the pain

he had caused her, she no longer felt sorry for him. It was a best friend's duty after all to hate the boys that hurt them, right? Ellie had fulfilled her duty.

But now...she had shown her arm to a total of three people before today: Paige, Sean and her mother. The first was only because Paige had forced her to face what she was doing to herself and the latter because she cared about them and wanted them to know who she was fully. Why did she show it to Craig? She could have simply told him the reason why she was here, or even made something up. The scars on her arms were personal, each carved with some sort of emotion or pain she had been feeling at the time.

Before she could ponder this further there was a knock on her door. Half hoping it was Craig, she got up and answered it. It was Andrew.

"Hi," Ellie said slowly. He was dressed in a pair of black jeans and a grey t-shirt, his hands tucked in his pockets.

"Um, is Haile here?" he asked.

Ellie shook her head. "No I think she's still down at dinner."

"Oh ok. My brother just wanted me to give her a message to meet up with him later but it's no big deal." Andrew paused. "So how do you like it here?"

Ellie shrugged. "It's okay."

"I hate it too."

Ellie laughed. "Glad I'm not the only one. How long have you been here?"

"A couple of weeks." He smiled, revealing even white teeth. "Your roommate sure is a hoot isn't she?"

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, she's super. Guess you share my high opinion of her, huh?"

"Yeah, the only reason I ever hang out with her is because she's dating my brother." Andrew cleared his throat and began twisting one of the rings on his finger nervously.

"Does your brother stay here too?" Ellie asked, breaking the awkward silence.

Andrew shook his head. "No, Jesse's normal." He chuckled. "Well I guess normal enough to get by. He met Haile one day when he was visiting me and they've been attached at the hip since."

He looked down at his feet then peered back up at Ellie through his dark fringe of lashes. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Ellie hesitated before answering. Andrew seemed like a nice guy but she didn't want to encourage him too much. "Um, not right now. I just got out of a serious relationship though."

Andrew nodded slowly. "Oh okay. Well, even so, do you wanna maybe hang out some time?"

Ellie bit her lip, remembering all the pain her past relationships has caused her and the promise she had made to herself the night before. "I don't know..."

Andrew frowned. "Come on, I'm a pretty cool guy once you get to know me. I think we have a lot in common anyway." He pointed to the posters on the far wall of the room. "I like those bands. We could just go down to dinner."

"I already ate," Ellie replied, getting annoyed with his persistence. "And I'm actually really tired so I think I'll..." She started to close the door but Andrew shoved it back open forcefully. Ellie's heart jumped when it thudded against the wall.

"Why won't you just give me a chance?" Andrew asked in a low dangerous whisper.

Ellie swallowed hard. "Andrew, I told you I just got out of a serious relationship..."

Andrew let out a harsh laugh. "That's what all the girls around here say. It's all lies. They're just trying to blow me off. You seemed different, Ellie."

Ellie looked nervously down the hall, wondering what she should do. She didn't know what Andrew's deal was and wasn't looking to stick around and find out. Her best bet was probably to try and keep him calm until someone else came. "I'm really not trying to blow you off, I promise. I'm just not looking for a relationship right now. And I've really got to get some sleep." She tried to close the door but Andrew was stronger than she was and he held the door firmly.

"Don't do that," he said through gritted teeth.

Ellie let her arm fall away from the doorknob slowly and Andrew grabbed her wrist tightly.

"Just come down to dinner with me, that's all I'm asking," he said. "Why is that so hard for you to do?"

Ellie didn't want to comply but was afraid of what he might do if she continued to reject him. Stuck between a rock and a hard place, she prayed that someone would come to her aid soon.

* * *

After lunch, Craig had a brief meeting with Dr. Melendez. It had gone fairly well, at least better than Ellie's meeting. Dr. Melendez was an older man with greying hair and a pleasant demeanor. He had spoken to Craig like he was an adult which Craig appreciated. After giving him a list of his upcoming sessions and meetings and telling him a little about the clinic, Craig had left the office and headed towards the elevators. Once inside, he hesitated before pressing the button for the seventh floor. He wasn't sure why but something inside him wanted to see Ellie. When he got off at her floor, he looked down the hall to see a guy about his age talking to Ellie. Craig hesitated unsure of whether or not he should interrupt but Ellie caught sight of him.

"Craig!" she called. He realized her eyes were wide with desperation and fear and saw that the boy had her arm in his grip.

"Hey!" Craig shouted, hurrying over. "What's going on? Let her go!"

The boy turned to Craig, anger in his eyes, his brows knitted together. "Why don't you just mind your own business?" He turned to Ellie. "Is this your boyfriend? Did you lie to me?"

Craig grabbed the guy's arm and pulled him away from Ellie. "Why don't you get the hell out of here?" Andrew fell against the opposite wall and nearly fell but caught himself. Down the hall a door opened and a two girls peeked out.

"Hey call for help!" Ellie told them. They nodded and quickly disappeared back into their room.

Craig grabbed the guy by the collar and shoved him against the wall. "Actually why don't you stick around? I'm sure security will take good care of you."

The other boy just glowered but didn't fight back. After a few minutes, there was pounding footsteps and the door to the stairwell flew open. Two security guards and a nurse hurried down the hall to where the two boys and Ellie stood. Craig released the boy who crumpled to the ground like a rag doll. Confused, Craig took a step back as the nurse approached.

"Andrew? What are you doing on this floor? You know you're not supposed to go anywhere without letting someone know where you will be." She helped him to his feet. "We're going to have to see Dr. Xavier about this now." She looked at Craig and Ellie. "I'm sorry for any trouble he has caused. Are you both alright?" They both nodded. "Okay good. Please just fill out the report with the guards. Thank you." Andrew kept his head down and didn't look at Craig and Ellie as she led him down the hall to the elevators.

Craig and Ellie both filled out some questions on a piece of paper and signed it. After asking them a few more details the guards left.

"So what the hell happened exactly?" Craig asked following Ellie into her room. "Who is that guy?"

"Andrew is my roommate's boyfriend's brother and he's a patient here. Clearly." Ellie sat down heavily on her bed. "He kept on asking me out and when I refused he started getting angry and violent."

"Yeah well they should guard him a little more carefully," Craig muttered, standing in front of her. He peered at her more closely. She was definitely more shaken than she was letting on. "Are you okay?"

Ellie nodded quickly. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I can call someone..."

"No I said I'm fine. I'm a big girl, Craig I can take care of myself."

Craig felt annoyance start to build up inside him. "Yeah you looked like you were doing a real good job before. You know, if I hadn't come along who knows what he would have done? And not even a thank you from Miss Ellie Nash of course."

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Oh I'm sorry. All hail Craig, savior of damsels in distress. I shall curtsy every time I see you."

Craig sighed. "Can't you ever hold back the sarcastic rejoinders for once? I was just concerned. See ya later." He turned to leave and heard Ellie groan.

"Wait, Craig."

He turned around slowly.

A faint smile played across Ellie's lips. "Jeez, no wonder Ashley took you back. You sure are good at the guilt thing. I do appreciate you helping me. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Craig replied.

Ellie looked down at her hands, playing with one of the black rubber bracelets she wore. "Everyone is always telling me I'm too sarcastic. It probably is some sort of defense mechanism thing but that's just the way I am. So you're just going to have to get used to it."She looked up defiantly as though expecting Craig to start another argument.

"Hey that's who you are," Craig replied. "I'm not exactly one to get all psychoanalytic or anything but I've read that people do that to avoid opening up or getting too close to people." He shrugged. "But if that's how you deal, that's cool with me." He sat down on the bed next to her and nodded his head towards her arm. "It's just that cutting thing that's not cool."

"Well what do you do when life get's too hard to handle?" Ellie asked him, slightly defensive.

Craig half-smiled, thinking back on his past actions. "You should know this by now, Ellie. You were at the dance after my dad died and you know what I did that put me in this place. I keep it bottled inside until..." He balled his hands into fists and then flicked his fingers out. "Explosion."

"That doesn't exactly sound healthy either," Ellie remarked.

"Well that's not all I do. That's for the really big stuff that I can't handle. Sometimes I let my everyday frustrations out in songs or talking to Joey and...Ash." Craig still felt his stomach drop every time he thought about her. "So that helps sometimes."

Ellie wrinkled her nose. "Not big on the talking thing."

Craig chuckled. "Well what do you think you're doing right now?"

Ellie paused for a second before a grin spread across her face. "I guess I am talking it out. To you of all people." She smiled at him to show she was only teasing him and he smiled back.

"Are we...bonding?" he asked with fake bewilderment.

"Believe it or not I think we are."


	12. Thoughts

Haile returned a few minutes later, looking distressed. "Ellie, I heard about what happened! Are you okay?"

Surprised at her roommate's concern, Ellie nodded. "Yeah everything's okay."

"God, I didn't know he was going to get like that around you. Jesse said he usually only does that to people he knows really well." Haile sighed dramatically. "Poor Jesse has had to deal with so much."

"What's his deal anyway?" Ellie asked, feeling a bit annoyed now that she realized her roommate knew what was wrong with Andrew and didn't warn her.

"Can't control his anger or something? There's some technical name for it I forget. And he's a little obsessive compulsive I think." Haile blinked, apparently just having noticed Craig was in the room. "Hi."

Craig smiled at her quickly. "Hi. I'm Craig."

Haile's pink glossy lips curved into a flirtatious smile. "I'm Haile. You're staying here?"

"Yup."

"Are you Ellie's boyfriend?"

"Nah, we just know each other from school. Um, I'd better get going." He stood up. "Nice meeting you."

"You too," Haile replied. "I hope we run into each other again."

"Uh, sure." Craig left with a smile and wave at Ellie. "See you guys later."

As soon as the door closed, Haile asked, "So he seemed nice. Do you know his girlfriend?"

Ellie held back a laugh at Haile's terrible attempt at acting casual. "Um he doesn't have one. They just broke up actually."

"Really..." Haile's eyebrow arched and a thoughtful look came over her face. "He's kinda cute."

"Um, don't you have a boyfriend?" Ellie asked, frowning.

Haile shrugged. "Yeah I guess so technically. But you know, all's fair in love and war or whatever." She tossed her purse onto her bed.

"Right," Ellie said slowly. "Well, actually, he's still really broken up over what happened with his last girlfriend and he's not exactly stable so you probably don't want to get involved with him. I mean, he seems nice and all but he could snap just like Andrew did before." Ellie didn't know why she was saying what she was saying but the words just kept coming out. "In fact, he's kinda dangerous." _Why am I lying like this?_ she asked herself even as she spoke.

Haile shrugged. "I don't mind dangerous." She sat down at the desk where she had set up a mirror and began to brush her hair. "So why was Andrew here? Asking you out or something?"

"Yeah kinda. He wanted me to come down to dinner but I had already eaten so I told him no and apparently that wasn't a good enough reason for him."

Haile whirled around in her seat. "You ate here?"

"Uh, yeah."

"After what I told you about the food?"

Ellie raised an eyebrow. "Actually the food was really good. I liked it."

Haile got up and walked over to Ellie. "I didn't tell you everything. I was hoping what I said would be enough to turn you off from it until I could tell you." She glanced around the room as though they were being spied on then leaned in to whisper in Ellie's ear. "They put chemicals in it."

"What?" Ellie had no idea what the girl was talking about. "Chemicals?"

Haile nodded solemly. "Yeah and drugs too. For like experiments and stuff. Testing out stuff for taste change or to make it cheaper or something, but they don't know the effects it has on the people who eat it. We're the guinea pigs."

Ellie chuckled. Haile had to be pulling her leg. But her roommate's face remained grim and Ellie slowly let her smile fade. "You're kidding right? A food chemical conspiracy?"

"Hey believe what you want," Haile said, turning back to sit down at her desk again. "I'm just telling you what I know." She paused. "But I never told you anything if they ask."

"Who would ask?" Ellie asked, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Anyone." Haile got up abruptly and went into the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind herself.

_Okay what just happened? _Ellie thought as she pulled her pajamas out of the drawer. _That was really really freaky. Even for this place._

* * *

Craig lay in his bed that night, his arm over his forehead, unable to sleep. He had had so many restless nights like this ever since he had been diagnosed. Usually he would get up and write some songs, practice his guitar or write in his journal. But now that he had a roommate, he couldn't do any of those things. Instead he was stuck in the dark with his thoughts. And he had a lot to think about.

_I miss you Ash,_ he thought, wondering what she was doing at that exact moment. She was probably with Peter. He didn't want to think about that.

Without realizing it, his thoughts drifted over to Ellie. He remembered what he had seen in her eyes when she had shown him her arm. The pain and suffering...he felt something tugging at his heart everytime he thought about it. He wanted to do something, anything to ease it -- even take some of it for himself. Why he felt this way, he couldn't even begin to figure out. He and Ellie had never been close, barely friends. So why was he thinking these things?

Suddenly, Craig heard Bradley speaking.

"Huh?" Craig asked, turning over ot face his roommate. But Bradley's eyes were shut tight though a look of distress was clouding his face.

"Don't want to," Bradley was mumbling. "They made me do it."

Craig figured Bradley was just having a nightmare and turned back over.

"I didn't want to kill anyone," Bradley whispered.

Craig froze, hearing these words. _It must just be a vivid nightmare_, he told himself, trying to forget what kind of a place he was in. _They wouldn't stick me in with some sort of psycho murderer. Would they?_ He glanced over his shoulder at Bradley and the moonlight that filtered through the blinds reflected off of the picture frame on the nightstand. Then he remembered and sighed with relief. Bradley had been in the Navy, probably fighting in deadly battles. _But wait,_ Craig realized. _He said he went overseas and came right back. _Craig visualized the photograph in his mind and realized that Bradley had had several medals on his uniform. So he must have done something to earn them.

_I guess I'll just have to ask him about it tomorrow_, Craig thought.

He tried to go to sleep but the thoughts continued swimming around in his brain, bouncing off of each other and keeping him awake. Finally when the illuminated numbers on his alarm clock read 3:30, he got out of bed, grabbed some paper and a pen and went into the bathroom. He shut the door then turned on the light, sat on the closed toilet seat and began to write a song that had been forming in his mind.

_Pain  
__Pleasure  
__How do you measure  
__What it will take to heal  
__I fought  
__I tried  
__I cannot hide  
__From myself what I feel_

_Brimming on the horizon  
__The light of a new day  
__Possibilities of salvation  
__I'll take you away_

_Away from this place  
__Away from this race  
__Away from the pain  
__Away from your sorrows  
__Into tomorrow  
__Away from the pain_

_Understanding  
__Forgiving  
__Hard to keep living  
__To keep forging ahead and beyond  
__Confusion  
__Thoughts  
__Feeling trapped and caught  
__An unexplainable and sudden bond_

_Away from the lies  
__Away from all ties  
__Away from the pain  
__Away from the grief  
__Tears they will cease  
__Away from the pain_

* * *

**Reviews, comments, and any critiques are always welcome. Let me know what you thought of the song!**


	13. Away from the Pain

When Ellie awoke the next morning, her wrist felt a bit sore. It took her a moment to remember the earlier night's events and she sighed. So far this place seemed to do nothing but bring even more drama into her life. But today would be her first group session which was supposed to help take the drama out.

Ellie sat up and glanced over to see that Haile was already gone. As quietly as she could, Ellie got dressed then took out her schedule. Today she was going to attend her "age bracket" session at 11:30. Then later today she was to meet with Dr. Peterson again. Ellie was dreading the last part more than anything after their last encounter.

She didn't feel hungry so she sat in her bed listening to her headphones until 11:15 finally arrived. Then she left the room and headed down to the first floor for the session. She didn't quite know what to expect so when she entered the room, she was startled to see a dozen faces staring at her. A mix of girls and boys who appeared to be about her age were seated on a circle of couches and cushioned chairs. She looked around for a second before spotting Craig who was seated on a couch talking to Haile. Feeling a stab of envy, Ellie came over to sit in the empty chair next to Craig. "Hey guys."

Craig turned around and smiled at her. "Hey Ellie. We were just talking about you."

Ellie raised an eyebrow. "Were you?"

"Yeah, Craig was telling me embarrassing stories about you," Haile said, grinning at Craig.

"I was not!" he protested.

Haile gave him a playful shove and Ellie felt that prick of jealousy again. "Don't lie."

Craig turned to Ellie, laughing. "I really wasn't. I was just telling Haile about the band you were in. And how you , uh, lost to _my _fabulous band in the contest."

"Oh, did you mention the t-shirts we wore and our song, Mr. Nice Guy?" Ellie asked with an innocent smile.

Before Craig could respond to that, a young man walked into the room, not much older than they were, dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Hello everyone," he said with a smile as he took a seat in the center of the circle on a rotating chair. "I see we have some more new faces so we'll go around and introduce ourselves in a little bit. Right now, I just want to tell you guys what this group is exactly. Everyone here is either 17 or going on 17. We have several different types of groups here, some based on age like this one, some based on the reason why you are here, some just a mixed group. Sometimes it's easier to deal with a group of people going through the same things you are because we can all help each other that way." He turned around in his chair as he spoke, looking at each one of them in turn. Ellie felt a little self-conscious under his friendly but scrutinizing green eyes. "Okay, so why don't we go around the circle and introduce ourselves and tell a little something about ourselves. I know this sounds like some stupid first grade ice breaker but just go with it. I'm Mike, I'm twenty-five. I work here and also at a nearby high school as a counselor." He nodded at Haile.

"I'm Haile, I'm sixteen. Um, I've done this half a dozen times and I like shopping."

Craig cleared his throat nervously. "Um, hi I'm Craig. I'm sixteen and um I enjoy long walks on the beach and cooking romantic candle lit dinners after a night of stimulating conversation."

Several others laughed at the joke including Mike. "Anything else, Craig? Seriously, that is."

"I play guitar and I like taking pictures. And this is my first time at one of these sessions."

"Okay, welcome. Next?" Mike smiled at Ellie.

"I'm Ellie, I'm sixteen. Um this is my first time too. I play keyboard and I love journalism and film."

They went all around the circle and Ellie noticed that Andrew was not present. She was relieved but also a bit concerned. After all, it wasn't really his fault that he had a mental condition. Maybe he was younger or older than she had thought.

"Alright guys so right now we're going to start up a discussion. Feel free to speak up but don't speak over each other. Everyone gets their chance to say what they have to say." Mike flipped through some papers. "Okay today's topic is abuse." Ellie felt Craig stiffen beside her and she glanced over to see a pensive look had come over his face. "Any kind, mental, physical, sexual, of anyone." He looked around the room. "Who would like to start?" No one moved until one girl tentatively raised her hand. Ellie remembered her name was Patrice.

"Um, my friend's mother got beat by her husband and it was really rough for her to go through. She felt so helpless because her mother wouldn't leave. She kept on insisting that her husband loved her even though he beat her all the time."

Mike nodded slowly. "And why do you think she said this?"

Patrice shrugged. "Because she loved him I guess. Love can be blinding."

"I'm sorry but I think she was just being stupid," an Asian boy whose name Ellie couldn't remember spoke up. "I mean, you're getting your ass kicked every night and you don't think anything is wrong? Come on now. Get yourself out of that situation."

Several other patients nodded in agreement.

"I know if my husband beat me, I would be out the door," a blond girl said firmly. "Even if I was Patrice's friend, I would find a way out of that house, even if I had to go by myself."

"Yeah, anything is better than getting beaten," the Asian boy said. "If the mother is too blind to leave then your friend needed to find someone to tell."

"But who would believe her?" Mike interjected quietly. "It's a young girl's testimony against her father and her mother, the supposed victim. This is why abuse cases are more complex."

"Then she needed to convince her mother to get the hell out of there," a boy named Jake said. "Only an idiot would stay in a situation like that."

Ellie heard Craig's sharp intake of breath and closed her eyes.

"Have you ever been in that situation?" Craig asked in a surprisingly calm voice. Ellie opened her eyes cautiously. He was staring at Jake intently but didn't look like he was about to fly off the handle at any second like she thought he would.

"Well no," Jake said slowly.

"Then how do you know what you would do?" Craig continued.

Jake shrugged. "I just know that I wouldn't stay with someone who was beating me."

"What if you had no other choice? What if the only place to go was the streets? What if that person was supposed to be the one person you could rely on?" Ellie could hear the emotion in Craig's voice as he spoke and everyone else was completely silent and staring at him.

"That's exactly my point," Mike said slowly, watching Craig carefully. "Abuse cases are complicated. It's not as easy as just leaving the abuser if it's someone you care about."

Craig just nodded, looking down at his lap, swallowing hard. "No, it isn't easy."

"And even if you do leave, you can never really escape," Patrice said. "Something like that is gonna stay with you probably for the rest of your life."

"Very interesting point," Mike said. He looked at Craig as though expecting more but he remained silent, looking down at the toes of his shoes. "Anyone else?"

The discussion continued though everyone appeared to be taking a lot more care in what they were saying and thetopic moved to other types of abuse. Craig remained silent the rest of the time, refusing to look at anyone and Ellie didn't participate either. After an hour, they were let go to head down to lunch. Ellie followed Craig wordlessly out of the room. Haile had said she was going to wait for her other friends to get out of their sessions but Ellie knew the girl was uncomfortable.

"I'm not going down to lunch," Craig mumbled to her when they left the room. "I think I'm just going to go back to my room."

"No, you are coming down to lunch," Ellie said, taking his arm. "Or else I'm coming to your room with you." She steered him towards the stairs and he followed reluctantly.

"Ellie, I don't want to talk about anything. I'm fine."

"Yeah this is the part that you were telling me about holding everything in until it explodes," Ellie reminded him. "I don't want you to explode, Craig. I actually prefer your annoying non-exploding self."

Craig allowed a tiny smile at that. "If you really want to talk, maybe the public cafeteria isn't the best place," he conceded.

"Fine then we'll go to my room." Ellie whirled around and pulled him towards the elevators. They rode up the seventh floor in silence then went into her room.

Craig sat down heavily on the bed and Ellie sat on Haile's so that she was facing him. They didn't say anything until Craig raised his eyebrows at her expectantly. "Well? You're the one who wanted to talk."

"Okay, okay, I'm just gathering my thoughts," Ellie replied hastily. She had a lot to say, she just wasn't sure how to approach it. "Okay what you said before about only talking to people about the little stuff? That's dumb."

"I'm glad you're not blunt, Ellie," Craig said rolling his eyes.

"Well it is. Either talk about everything or talk about nothing."

"Okay I'll talk about nothing then." Craig got up and started walking towards the door.

"Craig you can't keep running away," Ellie called after him.

"Yeah what do you know about it?" he asked forcefully, whirling on her. She was taken aback by the outburst and didn't answer for a minute.

"About pain?" she said quietly. "About crappy parents? Hello, we're both in a mental institution. Or clinic, whatever they're calling it. I obviously have some idea of what you're going through."

Craig looked like he was about to argue more than sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean...you're right You're probably the only person I know who can come close to understanding...pain. Real pain, I mean. Most people don't. To them pain is having to take the bus to school because their parents won't buy them a car or not having a date on Friday night. Superficial crap."

"You're starting to sound like me," Ellie said with a grin.

"Is that a good thing?"

Ellie shrugged. "I'm not sure."

Craig stood silently for a minute before coming to sit down on the bed again. "I hate my dad. I hate him for all those years of pain, I hate him for the pain he still causes me and I hate him for dying."

"Sounds like you hate him because you love him," Ellie commented.

"Probably. But I guess it's easier to hate him than it is to love him."

"I get that," Ellie said. "There were times I hated my mom for drinking. I even hated my dad for being in the army and leaving us so often. But if I really truly hated them, then I wouldn't care about what they were doing. Hate really is just a degree away from love."

Craig nodded slowly. "I guess that makes sense." He smiled. "I think I just got more out of that than every session with my shrink. Actually that sounds like a pretty good topic for a song."

"Yeah it does. You'd better give me credit though in the liner notes though," Ellie added with a smile.

"Not likely considering the fate that Downtown Sasquatch met."

"That was too bad.You guys rocked, I have to admit. That song was really incredible. I wish I could write like that. Do you think maybe I could see some of your songs sometime? I mean, only if you want to share them."

"Sure," Craig said. "Actually..." He pulled out a few sheets of paper from his pocket. "These are a few I was working on last night. Couldn't sleep and I was gonna go into the courtyard to finish them up after the group session." He shrugged. "Don't know if they're any good."

Ellie flipped through the papers. Most of them were just a few scattered lines here and there but one looked almost complete and it was entitled, "Away". She read the words silently, then looked up at Craig, unable to speak.

"What?" he said, frowning. Then his eyes suddenly went wide. "Oh wait you weren't...that song wasn't supposed to be...oh God." He leaned forward and put his head in his hand.

"Craig..." Ellie got up to sit beside him. She gently pushed his hand away and he looked up at her, apprehension in his eyes.

As Ellie leaned in, she thought about Ashley. This was her ex, best friend's weren't supposed to mess around with each other's ex-boyfriends. And didn't she promise herself that she wouldn't get into a relationship here?

And then all thoughts flew out of her mind as their lips met.


	14. Hiding

Ellie heard the door creak open and quickly pulled away from Craig just as their kiss was deepening. She looked up to see Haile standing there, her mouth open.

"Um," Craig said, hurriedly getting to his feet. "S-sorry." He quickly exited, not looking at either of the girls as he left and closed the door behind himself.

Ellie looked up at Haile who stood with her arms crossed over her chest. "So what was that? I thought you told me he wasn't your boyfriend."

"H-he's not," Ellie stammered. "I...we..." She found that she had no explanation for what had happened, not even for herself.

Haile glared at her. "I told you I liked him and everything was going perfect. He was just about to fall in love with me and you snuck behind my back and somehow got him to kiss you."

"No," Ellie said slowly. "I didn't sneak anywhere. It just happened."

"Things like that don't just _happen._ You made it happen. You've been planning this ever since I told you that I liked him. What else have you been lying about? Did that thing with Andrew even really happen or did you make it up to show how all the boys are in love with you?"

"What are you talking about? I'm not lying, I really didn't mean for that to happen. So don't talk about something you know nothing about."

Haile rolled her eyes. "Please, I know plenty about getting stabbed in the back by supposed friends."

"Friends?!" Ellie stood up now, facing off against her roommate. "You never wanted to be my friend, you ignored me at dinner, you've looked down on me since the minute I got here, and you didn't even warn me that Andrew was dangerous! If anyone's a liar here, it's you!"

Haile stared at her for a moment, fuming silently before speaking. "It's the food isn't it? The chemicals they put in it make people betray their friends and act crazy. I've seen it happen before."

Ellie threw her arms in the air in exasperation. "I can't deal with this right now." She stalked over to the door, rushed outside and crashed straight into Craig. They both reeled from the impact but Craig regained his balance first and grabbed her by the arm, dragging her down the hall. He pulled her into a small alcolve, out of sight.

"What are you doing?" Ellie asked, confused.

"I was outside your door the whole time. I didn't mean to run out like that it's just that Haile coming in took my by surprise. Actually, the kiss itself took me by surprise. It was...unexpected. I didn't mean to--"

"No, I know," Ellie cut him off quickly before he could say that it was a mistake. She hadn't even had a chance to think about it but didn't want Craig to think she felt something if he didn't feel the same. "It was a mistake. In the moment, you know."

Craig stared at her for a moment before nodded. "Oh. Uh, yeah, right, just the heat of the moment. Being around these crazy people or something."

Ellie forced a laugh. "Right. Must be something in the water here. Right?"

"Oh absolutely. A-and that song...it was about...Ash."

"Ashley. Of course. And I would never...because she's my best friend."

Craig nodded. "Okay. So everything...we're good?"

"Yep. Great."

Craig smiled. "Okay. Well I'm gonna go back to my room."

"Me too...or maybe not. You probably heard that fight we just had."

"Yeah...what was she talking about with the food?" Craig asked as they stepped out of the alcolve.

"I really don't know. She's gotta have some sort of paranoia problem or something." Ellie shook her head. "I'm gonna go...somewhere. See ya later." She could feel his eyes on her back as she turned and walked down the hall to the elevators but didn't stop. She couldn't stop. She knew that what she was feeling right now was more than she could handle at this moment and just needed to get away and be by herself.

Unfortunately, this wish was never granted when the doors to the elevator opened to reveal Cindy standing there with a harried look on her face. She started upon seeing Ellie standing before her.

"Oh! Ellie, dear, I was just coming to get you." She motioned for Ellie to come into the elevator with her and the girl did so warily.

"Why?"

Cindy took Ellie's hands in her's and Ellie's heart started to beat faster. "I have some bad news. You're mother just called."

"Is she okay?" Images of her mother driving drunk and getting into a car accident flashed in her mind.

"Yes, yes she's okay." Cindy sighed. "It's about your father."


	15. Confessions

Ellie felt numb as she sat in the waiting area for her mother to pick her up, a duffelbag on the bench beside her. They hadn't heard from her fatherin so long, how could nothing be wrong?

Someone had called Mrs. Nash and told her that her husband's convoy had been attacked. They didn't know anything more than that and told her they would let her know as soon as they found out whether or not there had been any survivors. So for now all they could do is wait.

The clinic had given Ellie permission to leave and stay at home with her mother as they waited for news. Ellie personally wasn't sure she wanted to go home. She didn't know how her mother was going to take the news and didn't know how she herself would react when the numbness subsided.

"Ellie."

She looked up to see Craig standing in front of her, looking breathless.

"I just talked to Haile. She told me what happened." He sat down beside her. "Are you okay?"

Ellie shrugged. "As okay as I can be."

"I know you don't want to hear it but it will be okay," Craig said. "No matter what happens, it will be." He paused. "Don't...just don't do anything crazy, okay?"

Ellie just nodded.

"I'm serious," Craig continued. "It's not worth it and it's not going to help the situation." He touched her arm gently. "I don't want to see any new cuts on this arm, okay? Promise?"

Ellie stared at him for a minute before sighing. "I promise."

Just then, the front door opened and Mrs. Nash entered, looking haggard and worried. She spotted her daughter and hurried over. Ellie stood up and they embraced, her mother pulling her in tightly.

"Oh honey," was all the woman murmured.

Ellie held back tears as she hugged her mother back. "We'll be okay, Mom."

Mrs. Nash pulled away, dabbing at her eyes. "Yes, I know." She glanced down at Craig, who was pretending as though the wall in front of him was absolutely fascinating.

"This is my friend Craig. He goes to school with me," Ellie introduced.

"Hi," Craig said with a strained smile. "I'm really sorry to hear about your husband, Mrs. Nash."

Mrs. Nash smiled back at him briefly. "Thank you."

Ellie picked up her duffel bag, swinging it over her shoulder. "See ya, Craig." She started to follow her mother towards the front doors.

"Wait!" Craig called suddenly. She turned to see him loping towards her, pulling something out of his pocket. He handed her a piece of paper. "The song. It wasn't about Ash. It was about you."

Ellie slowly reached out to take the paper and Craig quickly walked away before she could say anything.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Craig took the stairs up to his room then stood outside the door thinking for a moment before entering. Bradley was sitting on his bed, reading a book and looked up when Craig entered.

"Hey..." He paused and frowned. "Everything okay?"

Craig nodded. "Yeah. Well not really. You know that girl, Ellie? Well her dad's in the army and his convoy was attacked. They don't know if he's okay. She just left to go home and wait for the news." Craig sank down onto his bed, lying so he was facing Bradley. A strange look had come over his roommate's face.

"He was attacked?"

"Yep. Really sucks, she's already been through so much. I really hope everything turns out okay."

"H-he was in the army?"

Craig nodded slowly. "Uh yeah. Are _you _okay?"

Bradley was staring at the picture on his nightstand as though he had seen a ghost. "I was in the navy."

"I know..." Craig was starting to get a little freaked out and he sat up. "You told me, remember?"

"I...I killed people. I didn't know it was going to be like that. I didn't know that I would be able to see their faces. That I would have to raid innocent towns. My dad never told me! He never warned me!" Tears had filled Bradley's brown eyes and he was shaking. "How could he let me go like that without telling me?!"

Craig didn't know what to say. He had no idea what was going on, what Bradley was talking about ."Um, I'm sure he didn't mean to."

"He told me to join," Bradley continued as though Craig hadn't spoken. "He said it would be the best years of my life. He lied. They were the worst." He looked at Craig and blinked as though he just realized he wasn't alone in the room.

"Um, do you want me to get someone?" Craig asked hesitantly.

Bradley shook his head and swiped at his eyes. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

Bradley nodded. "Yeah. For the first time in a while, actually." He let out a harsh chuckle. "I've been pretending that never happened for the last three years. Who'd have thought it would come out now in front of someone I just met two days ago?"

Craig half-smiled at him. "Weird things happen at weird times." He felt a bit relieved, now understanding his roommate's behavior, but was still worried. "Are you sure you don't want to talk to anyone? Like a doctor or something?"

"No, no, I can wait until tomorrow." Bradley lay back against his pillows, his eyes half closed. Apparently the revelation had drained him and his eyes fell shut.

Craig was glad his roommate had taken a big step towards recovery but now his thoughts shifted back over to Ellie. He felt just awful for her and wished that he could have done more for her before she left. Her mother hadn't looked too stable and he knew Ellie would need a lot of support right now.

He needed to see her. He couldn't explain why he felt that way but he needed to get over to her house. He had been to her house only once with Ashley to pick something up and wasn't even sure of exactly where she lived. But something in him told him that he needed to be there with her.

He glanced over at his clock. It was five-thirty. In about two hours the sun would set and the lobby would be dark. He could sneak out the way that Bradley had shown him then.

For now he would just have to wait.


	16. Sneaking Out

Ellie walked down the pathway to her house and through the front door behind her mother. Setting her things down by the couch, she looked around slowly. Everything appeared foreign and strange to her. The rooms she had lived in her whole life didn't even seem remotely famliar. It was as though she was taking everything in with the eyes of a stranger. Then she spotted the empty glass bottles on the coffee table and felt a shock that jarred her out of her dreamlike state.

"Mom..." Ellie watched as her mother quickly cleared away the bottles and put them in the garbage. "Mom, what are you doing?"

Mrs. Nash shook her head. "Nothing, nothing. I just...when they called, I needed it but it's under control." She smiled shakily.

Ellie was far from convinced. "Mom, you said you were better. You promised me that you would never drink again! Now I come home to empty bottles of vodka on the table?"

Mrs. Nash frowned. "Ellie, my husband could be dead right now, your father! I needed it to keep my sanity, for goodness sakes!" She went into the kitchen. "Just enough to get me through the time until they call...until I know..." She opened a cabinet and took out a bottle.

"No!" Ellie tried to grab the bottle from her mother. "Mom, stop it! You can't do this! Not now! Please!"

Mrs. Nash pushed her daughter's arms away and sank into a chair in the living room. She opened the bottle and took a large gulp of the clear liquid. "Leave me alone, Ellie."

Feeling completely helpless, Ellie slowly turned and went into her room. She shut the door tightly behind herself and leaned against it. She reached down at her wrist for her rubber band and realized it was no longer there.

_It must have fallen off in the living room_, she thought. She had no desire to go back in there to retrieve it.

She slowly went over to her bed and lay face down, her arm hanging over the edge. Then she remembered. She lifted the comfortor and leaned over the edge so she could see underneath the bed. There it was. Straining, she felt along the underside of the bed until her fingers brushed the cold metal.

Ellie pulled out the razor blade she had taped there months ago. Then she raised her sleeve. The tears that woudn't come earlier came now and fell steadily like rain.

* * *

Craig hadn't been able to concentrate on anything until the time finally came where it was dark enough outside for him to sneak out. He had just lay in bed, staring at the clock, waiting for the sun to set. Finally, at seven-thirty, he sat up, pulled on his jacket and went down the hall to the stairs. After tiptoeing down them to the main floor, he stood at the foot of the stairs behind the door, watching through the small window as the guard sat by the front door, reading a book. Craig glanced at the open space he would have to dash across to get behind the counter without being seen. In daylight it had seemed so short but now it loomed miles long.

Just as he was getting up the nerve to do it, a hand fell onto his shoulder. Managing not to scream, he whirled around to see Haile standing behind him. Grabbing her by the arm, he pulled her up the stairs to the second floor landing.

"What are you doing?" he whispered. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry," she replied in hushed tones. "I went to your room to see if you found out anything about Ellie and you weren't there so I came down here to try to find you."

"No I haven't heard anything," Craig replied. "Goodnight!"

Haile crossed her arms. "Please, you can't fool me. I am the queen of sneaking out. You, on the other hand, clearly have no idea what you're doing." She pulled him down the stairs and pointed to the space between the stairs and the counter. "See that patch of light right there coming in through the window? No way the guard isn't going to see you." She pointed at his red shirt. "Especially with that color on."

"Well then help me," Craig said, exasperated. "How do _you_ sneak out so much?"

Haile smiled. "It's called a diversion." With that, she shoved him back out of view then pushed open the door. "Guard! Guard!"

Craig watched from the shadows as she ran over to the guard who jumped to his feet upon seeing her. "What's the problem?"

She ran past him towards the front doors so that his back was to Craig. Craig immediately took advantage of the opportunity to dash behind the counter. He peered over the top to see Haile trying to open the front door. The guard was pulling her away and not paying one bit attention to anything else going on. Craig silently thanked Haile before opening the door to the office behind thecounterand closing it quietly behind himself. He waited a second for his eyes to grow accustomed to the darkness then spotted the door that Bradley had told him about. He tried it and found it to be locked. With shaking hands, he managed to turn the lock then opened the door. It led out into a garden, which was pitch black. He walked along as carefully and quickly as he could, well aware that anyone who happened to glance out a window would be able to see him. He tried to stay along the shadows of the trees and tripped over the roots twice. Finally, he reached the brick wall on the far end, breathless and dirty.

_Bradley made this sound so easy_, he thought as he looked at the wall, with no idea of how he was going to get over it. He looked at the tree next to him and decided his best bet was to climb it.

With a backwards glance at the building, he braced his foot against the trunk, grabbed the lowest branch and began to haul himself up. He straddled the branchand could feel the branch starting to give under his weight. Desperately, he climbed up higher onto a thicker branch just before the other branch snapped. Panting, he looked over to the wall. It was pretty far away. He would have to jump. Taking a deep breath, Craig sent a silent prayer towards heaven before leaping over the wall. He landed in some bushes which cushioned his fall but the wind was still knocked out of him. He lay there for a moment, wondering if he was crazy. But he remembered the reason why he was sneaking out and that was enough to get him on his feet and on his way towards the bus stop.


	17. Losing Grip

Craig spotted the bus coming and ran to catch it just in time. He dug frantically in his pocket for change and found only a few pennies. The bus driver was glaring at him impatiently as he thought, desperately trying to come up with a reason for her to let him on the bus for free.

"Here you go, dearie." Craig looked up to see an elderly woman lean over and put some coins into the slot for him. "You look like you're having a rough night."

Craig smiled and sat down across from her. "Yeah, I kinda am. Thank you."

The woman smiled back at him. "No worries. You looked like a nice young gentleman...if a bit dirty."

Craig looked down at himself. There was dirt on the knees of his jeans, his jacket was torn and he felt leaves and twigs in his hair. "Uh yeah. I was walking and I, um, tripped. Into some bushes. A lot of bushes." He realized he didn't even know where he was going. "Um, do you know how to get to Keller Street?"

The woman nodded. "Yes, it's the stop right before mine. I will let you know when we arrive at it."

"Thanks." They rode on in silence until they reached the stop.

"Here we are." The woman pulled the cord to let the busdriver know he wanted to get off. "It's right across the way over there."

Craig stood up and waited for the bus to slow to a stop. "Thank you again." He got off the bus and waited for it to pass before crossing the street. He spotted the sign for Keller Street and walked down the block. He wasn't entirely sure of what house it was but saw a white one that looked slightly familiar.

_That has to be it_. He walked over slowly, unsure of what to do, now that he was here. _Should I knock? Climb the trellis to her window and recite poetry? Sing a song until she comes out?_

Feeling extremely self conscious, he went over to the front window and peered inside. He saw the back Mrs. Nash's head. She was slumped over in a chair asleep. Then he saw the bottles scattered around her chair and realized she was passed out.

_Ellie..._ He gave up all hesitation and went up to the front door opening it slowly. He looked around but Ellie was nowhere in sight. Creeping past Mrs. Nash, he went into the hallway. "Ellie?" he called quietly. "Are you here?" There was no answer. He looked into the bathroom then an empty bedroom that was clearly the master bedroom. Finally he came to a closed door and he could hear noises coming from inside.

"Ellie?" he said, knocking gently. "Ellie, are you in there?" No one answered. "Ellie open up please. It's Craig." He knocked again. "Come on, I know you're in there. I need to talk to you." He pressed his ear to the door, hoping for an answer. He could hear sniffles and gasps for breath and he twisted the knob, opening the door a crack. He peered inside and saw Ellie sitting on the bed with his back towards him.

"Ellie..."

Ellie turned around. Her face was streaked with tears and her eyes were wide with surprise upon seeing Craig. "Craig why are you here?"

"I needed to..." Craig trailed off when he saw what she had been doing. There were long deep cuts all over her right arm and blood streamed down onto the bedspread. "Oh my God, Ellie. Ellie, what did you do?!"

"Craig just leave, please." Ellie raised a razor blade in her left hand to continue cutting.

"No, Ellie, you need to stop. Right now. Look at yourself!" Craig grabbed her left wrist and attempted to take the blade from her but she pulled away. "You're bleeding too much. You need to get to a hospital!"

"No! Get off of me!" Ellie struggled with him for control of the blade but he managed to get it away from her. "Give it back, Craig. This is none of your business!"

"No this is completely my business! Look at what you did!" He suddenly heard a gasp and whirled around to see Mrs. Nash standing in the doorway, apparently having been roused by the noise.

"Ellie! Oh my goodness!"

"Mom..." Ellie looked down at her arm then up at Craig and her mother at a loss for words.

"We should get her to the hospital," Craig told Mrs. Nash. "Where are your car keys?"

Mrs. Nash was crying and could barely speak. "Th-they're o-on the kitchen c-counter."

Craig dashed into the kitchen and spotted them. He grabbed them then hurried back to the room to see Mrs. Nash holding her daughter in her arms. "What happened?"

"I don't know!" Mrs. Nash cried. "She just fainted."

"Okay. Okay. Alright." Craig tried his best to stay calm. "Get some towels or something to slow the bleeding."

Mrs. Nash hurried off to do so and returned with several dish towels. Craig tossed Mrs. Nash the car keys. "Get the car started but _I'll _drive." He then proceeded to wrap the towels tightly around Ellie's arm as best as he could then lifted her in his arms and carried her out to the car. Mrs. Nash stood there, wringing her hands and helped Craig get Ellie into the backseat. Then Craig climbed into the drivers seat while Mrs. Nash sat in the back with her daughter. He sped off as quickly as he dared in the direction of the hospital.

"Hold on, Ellie," he whispered. "Please..."

* * *

**This was rather short I know but I thought it was an important part that deserved its own chapter. Anyway thanks for all the reviews and I'll have the next chapter up asap. **


	18. Maybe

_She's going to be okay_.

Those were the only words that Craig heard when the doctor came to tell them how Ellie was. He had continued on about stitches, forms to fill out, and other things that Craig didn't pay any attention to. It only mattered that Ellie was all right. He stared down at the blood that stained his already filthy clothes and was more grateful than he had ever been in his life.

"...visit..."

Craig's heard jerked up, hearing that word.

"She needs to rest but she's awake right now." The doctor glanced back and forth between Mrs. Nash and Craig. "You two can decide who goes in there but Mrs. Nash, we do need you to sign some things and talk a bit more in depth." He left the two of them alone to talk.

Mrs. Nash turned to Craig, her eyes filled with tears that hadn't stopped.

"You should go," Craig said quickly. "I'll wait out here."

Mrs. Nash swallowed hard. "I-I don't think I can face her right now. After what I did...I don't see how she could ever forgive me. And if you hadn't come when you did...I don't even want to think about what would've happened." She grasped his hand. "Thank you, Craig."

Craig wasn't sure what to say so he just mumbled, "You're welcome."

"So you go ahead. You obviously care about her a lot." Mrs. Nash frowned suddenly. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be at the clinic?"

"Uh, thanks, I'll tell her that you're okay and sorry." Craig quickly hurried down the hall before Mrs. Nash could question him further. He walked down to the Intensive Care Unit then spotted Ellie's name on a chart outside a door. He knocked gently on the door before turning the knob and entering. The room was dim with the only light source being the moonlight that streamed in through the blinds. Ellie was lying on a bed in the center of the room, her head turned away from him. Her arm had been bandaged and some of the color had returned to her cheeks. Craig was just glad to see her awake and alive.

"El?"

Ellie's head turned when he spoke her name. "Hey," she replied quietly.

"How do you feel?"

Ellie shrugged. "Okay."

Craig pulled up a chair to sit beside her bed. "Are you sure?"

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine." She paused. "So, why are you here? I mean, why did you sneak out of the clinic?"

Craig shrugged. "Because I...well, I thought that you would be upset and, I don't know, I had a feeling that something was going to happen. That you would need someone. So I came."

Ellie smiled. "Well, thank you. For coming. Oh and for saving my life."

Craig smiled weakly back at her. "Sure thing." He fiddled with the blanket, trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say. "Um...why?"

Ellie frowned. "What?"

"Why did you do it, Ellie? I mean, I know why, your parents and all, but you promised me you wouldn't."

Ellie sighed. "It's not that easy, Craig."

"But you know it's wrong. I mean, I don't understand..."

"That's right, you don't. You can't."

Craig couldn't believe his ears. "What? I don't understand. Didn't we go over this before? I do understand, Ellie. I understand pain, I understand wanting to do anything to get rid of it. But, I thought...I don't know, I thought you were getting better."

"After a couple of days at that place? It's not a miracle clinic."

"I know that!" Craig struggled to keep his voice down. "I just thought that _I_ was helping you. That we were both getting better...together."

"Well I guess not," was all Ellie said in reply.

Craig shoved his chair back in frustration, getting on his feet. "How could you say that? I wrote that song about you! I just wanted to make it better for you, take away the pain. And you can just tell me that it meant nothing?!" He knew he was losing control but he couldn't help it. "I guess I was crazy for thinking that it would mean something. That someone else would feel what I felt. That something in my life would go right for once. That I finally found someone who really gets it, who really gets me!"

Ellie was trying to sit up now. "Craig, calm down."

"I'm not crazy, right? I mean, I am, but about before? We kissed and I felt something and you can't sit there and tell me that you didn't feel it too!" Craig knelt by her bed and grabbed her hand. "Please, Ellie, please. Tell me you felt something."

"I didn't mean it meant nothing," Ellie said slowly. "Of course I felt something Craig. You don't just kiss people without feeling something." She sighed. "I...I just don't know if I can do this right now. I mean, we're both going through something huge right now. Do you really think a relationship is good for either of us at this point?"

Craig felt like every single hope he'd ever had was being ripped apart. "I never thought you of all people would go along with someone else's idea of a good relationship. You're supposed to be Ellie I-Don't-Care-What-Anyone-Else-Thinks Nash! But maybe I was wrong." He let her hand go and stood up. "Maybe you're not who I thought. Just like everyone else in my stupid life! Maybe I should just be like you and give up!"

"No, you won't. Because that's not you Craig. That's the difference between the two of us. You don't give up."

Craig laughed harshly. "Yeah like I didn't give up before when I popped a couple of dozen pills?"

"That wasn't you Craig. That was a mental illness taking over for you. The Craig that I knew before the illness? The one with the abusive father, orphaned at age fourteen?"

"Thanks for the reminder."

"That Craig didn't give up," Ellie continued undaunted. "Ever. He was the strongest person I knew because he kept on going when I know I wouldn't have. When most people would have just curled up and died."

Craig was silent for a moment. "You know, there were moments where I wanted to do that. A lot of moments. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Looking back, I don't even know how I managed."

"I'm glad you did." Ellie chuckled suddenly. "Jeez, it sure is inspirational speech time."

Craig smiled too, feeling a bit calmer than before. "Yeah it really is. Did mine work?"

Ellie shrugged. "Maybe. Did mine?"

"Maybe."


	19. Mending Broken Bonds

Craig and Elliehad both been sitting in awkward silence for a long time now. Ellie longed to tell him how she was feeling but the words she wanted to say hadn't been invented yet. So she said nothing instead.

Craig glanced at his watch suddenly. "It's getting kinda late. They're probably going to kick me out soon. I wonder if the clinic knows I'm gone yet."

"Probably. Expect the nice nurses to come barging in here any second with strait jackets."

"Yeah they've probably come to my house already. I should call Joey and tell him I'm okay." Craig slowly stood up. "Um, I don't know if I'll be able to visit tomorrow what with the strait jackets and all, so I guess I'll see you...when you come back to the clinic?"

Ellie nodded. He turned to leave but she grabbed his hand and he turned back. He leaned down to kiss her but she only kissed him on the cheek. "Maybe, remember?"

Craig smiled slightly. "Right. Maybe."

Ellie watched him go with a mixture of sadness and relief. She knew she was right in waiting before acting on whatever feelings they had. However, she also knew that they wouldn't be able to ignore those feelings much longer.

A few minutes later just as she began drifting off to sleep, there was a knock at her door and someone entered. Ellie watched as her mother came to stand beside her bed. "Hey Mom."

Mrs. Nash put her hand to her mouth as she started to sob. "I-I'm so sorry, honey. I can't...I didn't imagine..."

Ellie took her mother's hand. "Mom, it's okay. It is."

"No, no it's not. I did it again when I promised I wouldn't and look what it did to you. And at a time like this." Mrs. Nash shook her head. "We're lucky the doctors didn't notice I was d-drunk...I don't want to think of what could have happened. But it doesn't matter because as soon as you're better, I'm joining a support group and I'm not leaving until I'm 150 percent better. I never want to put you through this again."

Ellie nodded. "Believe me Mom, I know what it's like to do something you know is bad for you." She raised her bandaged arm. "And how hard it is to stop." Ellie realized now that it was time to stop blaming and just support her mother as best as she could. "We can be there for each other. No matter what else happens. Us Nash woman are strong."

Mrs. Nash smiled through her tears. "Well I certainly know my daughter is."

Ellie shook her head. "I'm really not. But I think I may be getting there."

Mrs. Nash fingered Ellie's bandage. "I'm so grateful to that young man, Craig, for being there when he was. I'm not exactly sure why he was there but I'm grateful nonetheless. He seems to really care about you, honey. Are you two close friends?"

Ellie shrugged. "We didn't used to be but since we've been at the clinic together…I don't know I guess a place like that brings people together awfully quickly."

"Well, I'll feel much better knowing when you go back there knowing that you have someone like him watching out for you."

Ellie smiled slightly. "Yeah. Yeah, me too."

* * *

Craig arrived at his house, expecting Joey to be ranting and raving. When he had called from the hospital, Joey had been very quiet and just asked him to come home right away. Now that he was here, the place seemed relatively quiet as he opened the door cautiously and came inside.

"Craig."

Craig turned to see Joey standing in the living room by himself. "Hi, Joey," Craig said meekly.

"Are you okay?" Joey came over to hug him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Craig pulled away. "I'm really really sorry. I know you probably want to kill me right now and I understand why. But I am sorry."

"I did want to kill you when the clinic called me telling me that you were missing but only because I was worried to death. Why'd you run off like that? Is it really that bad there?"

"No it's nothing like that." Craig went to sit down on the couch, the events of the evening finally beginning to take their toll on him. "I…it…see…" He sighed. "There was this girl."

Joey raised his eyebrows. "Ashley?"

"No, not Ashley. Remember that girl I spoke to the day we moved in who said she was just visiting? Well, it turns out she wasn't just visiting, she was staying there too." Eventually Craig poured out the whole story to Joey who just sat listening in silence.

"So are you going to ground me? Punish me for a couple of years?" Craig asked when he finished.

Joey shook his head. "No, I'm not. It's all right." He patted Craig's knee then stood up. "I'll drive you back to the clinic tomorrow." He started to head towards the stairs.

"Wait, that's it? No 'don't you dare do that again' or 'don't expect to be going out with your friends when you get out of the clinic'?"

"No. Why don't you just head up onto bed, okay?"

Craig stood up. "No, hold on a second. Why are you acting so non-Joey like? You don't need to be extra careful around me or anything. I don't want to be treated like some sort of mental case, especially by you."

"I'm not treating you like a—"

"Yes you are," Craig cut him off. "Not even just since what happened a few days ago. Ever since I was diagnosed you've been walking on your tiptoes around me and I don't want that. I just want to be normal again. The real Joey would have been fuming when I came into the house a few minutes ago. The real Joey would have grounded me for at least a month. The real Joey is the Joey that I want back."

Joey opened his mouth to speak then closed it and sighed. "You're right. I have been acting different around you. It's just that I was afraid…well I just didn't want to set anything off. I thought it would help you but I guess it didn't. I'm sorry, from now on I'll try my best to be the old Joey around you, okay?"

"Okay, great. Now yell at me."

"What?"

"Yell at me. Tell me that what I did was wrong and irresponsible and if you ever catch me doing it again you'll…I don't know do something really awful."

Joey smiled then nodded and made his face firm. "You know, what I am angry. What you did was not only irresponsible it was also dangerous. You worried all those nurses at the clinic plus me and Caitlin. Granted, it did work out that you saved Ellie's life, but you could have told someone, you could have called, left a note, anything but running away."

Craig nodded feeling relieved. "Yes you're right. I did a horrible thing. Keep it coming. Let it out, Joey."

"I'm glad you understand that. Because whenever you get out of the clinic, you're grounded for a month."

"Yes, the real Joey is ba—wait, grounded for a month?!" Craig groaned. _I really didn't think this through_.


	20. Healing

Ellie walked into the clinic a week later, feeling better than she had in a while. Ever since she had found out she was coming to this place, she had expected the worst and been desperate to claw her way out without really giving it a chance. Now she was ready to really try and get better, to let the other people help her and perhaps even take another chance at love.

After checking in with Cindy at the front desk, she went down the hall to one of the conference rooms, just in time for a group session.

Ellie pushed open the door and walked into a room with only half a dozen other people in it. Most of them were around her age or older but there was one girl who only appeared to be twelve or thirteen. Ellie felt a hint of recognition upon spotting the girl and realized it was the girl she had seen the first day she had arrived here.

"Hi, you must be Ellie." A woman in her early thirties stood up and gave her a warm smile, shaking her hand firmly. "I'm Laura, the group leader. We're just about to get started."

Ellie smiled back at the woman then took a seat in the circle. As in the other group, everyone went around and introduced themselves. When it was the girl's turn, she didn't make eye contact with anyone as she said her name very quietly so that Ellie had to strain to catch it. Julia.

"Okay, well you're all here because you self-harm or "cut" as many people know it," Laura said once everyone had introduced themselves. "I am also a former cutter but I haven't done so in about ten years." She looked around the circle. "I know that Calvin hasn't done so in about a month which is the longest he's gone." Everyone applauded the young man who smiled proudly.

"It's been a struggle but it is getting easier everyday," Calvin said. "My friends have been very supportive which has helped a lot. You're going to always have days where cutting is all you can think about because you feel your life just sucks but remember, every day where you ignore those feelings is another hurdle you've overcome."

"Yeah," a woman named Kathy agreed. "I know that I feel ten times better the next day when I know I stayed strong and didn't give into my feelings."

Ellie didn't feel quite ready to speak herself yet but listened carefully to what the others said. Their stories were so similar to hers and she finally felt like she wasn't such a freak after all.

After about an hour the session ended and they all stood up to leave. Ellie hesitated for a second then went over to the young girl, Julia, who hadn't spoken a word since introducing herself.

"Hi," Ellie said, peering at the girl, trying to see her face underneath the hair that covered it.

"Hi," Julia replied in almost a whisper.

Ellie wasn't sure where to start. She felt something inside of her telling her to befriend this girl who was too young to be in a place like this. Then she noticed the shirt the girl wore. "Hey you're a Kurt Cobain fan too?"

Julia looked up and a slight smile played across her face. "Yeah."

"Nirvana is one of my favorite bands," Ellie said as they started to walk out of the nearly empty room together. "I have pretty much everything they've ever done. I actually just got some special edition recordings if you want to listen to them."

Julia nodded eagerly.

"Come on up to my room."

They chatted about the band and other music all the way to Ellie's room and Ellie was surprised about how enthusiastic Julia became. It seemed like the shy exterior she put out was just a charade, masking who she really was.

When they reached Ellie's room, she was relieved to see that Haile wasn't there.

"Here you can check out the booklets while I put the CD in." Ellie handed Julia the cases then turned to put one the CDs in the stereo. When she turned around she couldn't help but smile upon seeing how engrossed Julia had become in reading every word of the booklets.

After about two hours, and three CDs, Julia stood up to go.

"Thank you for letting me listen to your stuff," she said a bit of her earlier shyness coming back. "I didn't mean to stay so long."

"No, hey it's perfectly fine. It's cool to find someone who actually has good taste in music. That and the cutting thing, we've got a lot in common. We should hang out again."

"Really?" Julia sounded genuinely surprised.

Ellie smiled at her affectionately. "Yes, really." She walked her to the door. When Julia reached out to turn the knob, Ellie noticed the scars on her arm and felt something in her stomach drop. When her new friend left, Ellie sat down heavily on the bed. She couldn't imagine a girl so young doing harm to herself.

_Why would that poor girl do that to herself?_ Ellie asked herself._ She's so sweet and would be very pretty without all that hair in her face. I just hope I can help her in any way. _

The phone rang just then and Ellie answered it. It was Cindy, telling her that she had a meeting with Dr. Peterson in a few minutes. Ellie felt a tiny sense of dread but also was eager to tell the doctor that she was really ready to get better this time.

She hurried down the stairs to the office and knocked.

"Come in!" Dr. Peterson called. Ellie pushed open the door and entered.

"Hi," Ellie said. "I know what you're going to ask me so let me tell you right now, that I'm really ready to give this place a chance and to do everything I can to get better. I am going to try my hardest at all my group meetings and sessions with you to come out of this place healthier and happier."

Dr. Peterson was silent for a moment then spoke: "Looks like your close brush a week ago brought things into perspective, huh?"

"Yeah, that and some other things." Ellie sat down in the chair opposite from the doctor.

"Well, I wanted to tell you that I'm very sorry to hear about your father. You still haven't received word about him?"

Ellie shook her head, swallowing hard. She had managed to avoid thinking about the topic as much as she could but it was getting harder and harder with each day that passed. "I figured there was no point in waiting around at home with my mom going back to rehab, so I came back here to at least have some more support while we wait for news. They said it could be a few days or a few weeks before we hear anything."

Dr. Peterson nodded slowly. "Okay. Well, you said just a second ago, that there were some other things that helped you change your mind about this clinic. Care to share anything?"

"Well just talking with my mother and with my friend made me realize that I'm not going to get better just by myself. Not taking this opportunity would be stupid and I shouldn't let it pass me by."

"Have any of the few group sessions you've had here at least had some effect on your change of heart?"

"Well the one that I had today was pretty cool. It was nice, well not nice, but comforting to see other people with the same exact problem as me and seeing someone who has gotten over it. There was also this girl Julia, who was only about thirteen years old and I just felt so bad that she was a cutter at such a young age. I really want to help her."

"So you see a little bit of yourself in this girl?"

Ellie nodded slowly. "Yeah I guess I do."

Dr. Peterson leaned back in her chair. "So maybe, by helping this little girl, you're really also helping yourself to heal?"

"I guess you're right. That does make sense."

"Well it sounds like you're well on your way." Dr. Peterson smiled at her, the first genuine smile Ellie had seen from the woman. "So tell me more about this friend of yours who you talked towho helped you out."

Ellie didn't know where to begin.

* * *

**I know it's been a while since I updated but I've been super busy with work and the holidays approaching. Funny how I find the time to update on Christmas Eve lol. Well hopefully I'll get the next chapter up soon. This was short but I just wanted to put something out there asap. **


	21. Visitors

Craig was excited to see Ellie again. She had called him yesterday to tell him that she was coming back today and he had called her room several times until she finally answered. They agreed to meet in his room since Bradley was at a meeting with his doctor about possibly leaving the clinic.

Craig had come back to the clinic and not surprisingly had gotten a speech from a nurse and Dr. Melendez about what he had done. Still he didn't regret it and at least he hadn't really received any punishments. He actually got the impression that Dr. Melendez was somewhat proud of what he had done.

He had also discovered that since Bradley had finally stopped blocking out his memories of his battles while in the Navy, his doctor was contemplating allowing him to leave the clinic and just continue regular therapy while living at home. Craig wasglad for his roommate but a bit sad to learn thatBradley would be leaving soon.

So Craig had a lot to tell Ellie as he waited for her to come that evening. Finally there was a knock at the door and he leaped from his bed to open it. Ellie stood there in her typical punk rock attire smiling. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and she hugged him back.

"How are you?" he asked into her hair.

"Good," came the muffled response. "Although it is getting a little bit hard to breathe."

Craig let go quickly. "Sorry." He stepped back and allowed her to walk into the room ahead of him and he shut the door behind them. "So…you look great. Two thumbs up." He flashed a grin at her. Now that she was here, for some reason he didn't tell her all the things he had been planning on telling her. Instead he lamely asked her, "So what's new?"

"Um, well I went to a cool group session today. And I don't hate Dr. Peterson anymore. She was actually very right about what she said to me when I first came here." Ellie sat down on his bed. "You?"

Craig sat down beside her, Indian style. "Well, Bradley may be getting out of here."

"That's great! Good for him. I actually haven't even seen Haile since I've been back. Don't know where she is."

"Oh I think she was spending a few days at home. I think she was supposed to be coming back this evening or tomorrow. She did ask about you though." Craig paused, fiddling with his shoelace. "Still no word on your dad?"

Ellie shook her head. "No. Nothing. My Mom tried to call and find out something but she kept on getting sent from person to person and they all pretty much just brushed her off and just said they would contact us soon."

Craig hesitantly took Ellie's hand in his. "I'm sure they will. And whatever the outcome, I'm here for you."

Ellie took a deep breath. "Yeah I wanted to talk to you about that." She pulled her hand away, and Craig felt as though he had swallowed a whole family of butterflies.

"I appreciate everything you've done for me," she began slowly. "That song you wrote was beautiful. I—" She was cut off by a knock at the door.

Craig groaned inwardly. _Perfect timing_. He held up a finger to Ellie. "Hold that thought." Getting to his feet, Craig crossed the room to open the door. The two people standing there weren't at all who he expected.

Sean and Ashley.


	22. Unlikely Advice

Craig stoodin thedoorwarwordlessly until Ellie came over.

"Who…" She trailed off seeing who was there. "Oh. Hi."

Craig finally found his voice. "Um, what are you guys doing here?"

"Nice to see you too," Ashley replied with a slight smile.

"Oh sorry," Craig said quickly. "It's just, well…not what I was expecting." He stepped back. "Come on in."

The two of them entered and stood awkwardly by the bed side by side. Ellie stood facing Sean while Craig came to stand beside her so it seemed like they were two teams about to face off in some sort of death match. Craig was afraid that wasn't far from the truth.

"Ok well here's what happened," Sean said, glancing at each of them in turn with a slight frown on his face. "I called Ellie's house to see how things were going and her mother told me pretty much everything that'd been going on. I was worried and came to see how you were."

"And Joey had called _me_ to find out where Craig was the night you ran away and told _me_ everything and I came to see if _you_ were okay. And we both happened to pick the same day to come I guess and we saw each other in the lobby."

"What a coincidence," Ellie deadpanned, throwing a meaningful look Craig's way.

_Helped along by certain parents_, Craig added mentally.

"We went to Ellie's room first and her roommate said that you were probably here," Ashley added.

"So, um, what are you doing here, anyway?" Sean asked Ellie a bit too casually. His eyes flicked to Craig again.

Ellie shrugged. "We were just hanging out. Talking."

"Is there somewhere we could go, maybe? To talk," Sean said. "Alone, just for a little while."

"Um, yeah we can probably find some place." Ellie turned to the others. "You guys probably need to talk too. We'll all meet up later."

Craig didn't want them to go. He didn't want to be alone with Ashley and didn't know what he was going to say. But they left the room and it was just the two of them as it had been so many times before. Only this time, things were much different.

Ashley cleared her throat. "So you're okay now. I mean, you seem okay. Are you okay? Look at me I'm babbling." She laughed nervously, her hand fluttering up to her mouth. Craig saw the ring and he felt his stomach lurch just as it had the first time he had seen it. However, he didn't feel the burning anger anymore, which he took as a good sign.

"Yeah I'm okay," he said.

"That's good. I'm glad. And Ellie's okay right? Joey didn't give me a lot of details."

"Yeah, she's fine too." Craig was finding it hard to make eye contact with Ashley whenever Ellie's name was mentioned.

"That's lucky that you helped her in time," Ashley continued, peering at Craig carefully.

"Uh-huh." Craig wandered over to the bed and absently picked up some things from his bed, still avoiding Ashley's eyes.

"What made you sneak out like that anyway? I mean, it was pretty weird, you know?"

Craig was starting to get the feeling that both Sean and Ashley were here for more than just to see how he and Ellie were. "I don't know," he answered slowly. "I knew that she was going through some rough stuff and wanted to make sure everything was okay. You know, like how you and Sean are here just to make sure that me and Ellie are okay." He finally looked up at her and was surprised to see tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Ashley said, swiping at her eyes. "You're right, we didn't just come here for that. I called Sean after Joey told me what happened because I was, I don't know, freaking out I guess. I thought something was going on with you two and I asked Sean if he knew anything. He was just as surprised and then called Ellie's mom and we both decided to come down here to find out what was going on." She shook her head, sitting down heavily on the bed. "We shouldn't have lied and I'm really sorry."

Craig slowly put down the papers he had collected in his hand and sat down beside her. "It's okay."

"I'm being so stupid and silly but for some reason, I needed to know if something was happening between the two of you. I mean, I shouldn't even be in your business and I have no right to get upset but then Ellie's my best friend so I felt sort of justified but I shouldn't have lied to you. I've lied too much over the past few months. I should have just been straight forward and asked you what was going on."

"Are you asking now?"

"I guess I am."

Craig took a breath, playing with a loose string on the bedspread. "Well, I can tell you honestly that the answer is no."

Ashley sighed with relief.

"And yes," Craig added.

Ashley raised her eyebrows. "Oh. Um, what does that mean, exactly?"

"I don't know."

"Okay, cryptic much? Come on, you can tell me. I can take it. I just want to know for sure."

"Well, we both feel something for each other but we're kind of uncertain about how to handle our feelings right now. We're not even sure what we're feeling exactly. So for now everything's kind of a big question mark."

Ashley nodded slowly, looking down at her lap. Then something apparently caught her eye and she started reading one of the papers that Craig had on his bed. Craig realized in an instant that it was the song and he winced as Ashley looked up and waited for her reaction.

"Well," she said after a moment. "I thought you said you were going to be honest."

"Huh?"

Ashley held up the paper. "Clearly you know _exactly_ how you feel about her. The only question mark here is on her feelings for you."

Craig knew she was right. He had fallen harder than he had ever expected for Ellie and the only reason he wouldn't admit it straight outwas because he had no clue what she was feeling. "So what do I do? Wait never mind, forget I said that. I shouldn't be asking you of all people for love advice. I'm just lucky you're not tearing our heads off."

"Craig, I'm not going to tear anyone's head off. Our relationship…well it was complicated. We both screwed each other over so maybe we can just call it even and finally realize it wasn't meant to be. Besides, I get why you like her. She's my best friend for a reason—Ellie's a cool girl and you guys really seem to connect. I think she really needs someone like that." Ashley paused. "And I think that you should tell her that. Tell her everything, honestly and completely, or else you'll never know."

Craig suddenly remembered an important factor. "Yeah, well after she's done talking with Sean, who knows what will happen?"


	23. Turn of Events

Sean and Ellie walked down the hall in silence until they reachedan alcove similar to the onethat she and Craig had ducked into what seemed like years ago. This time it was Sean who grabbed her arm and pulled her into the space, giving her an eerie sense of dejavu.

"This'll do," Sean said. "So um…are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ellie replied.

"Good. And your dad…?"

"Still no word," Ellie said shortly.

"Oh I'm sorry." Sean looked around uncomfortably and Ellie knew there was more that he was dying to ask her. "So how do you like this place?"

"Sean, don't beat around the bush. You don't need to do that with me," Ellie told him. "Come on."

"Okay. You're right I should just say it." He took a deep breath. "What's going on with you and Craig?"

Ellie had known the question was coming and yet was still not prepared to answer it. "Well…I don't know. It's kind of messed up and confusing and I don't really know what to tell you."

"Well tell me something Ellie," Sean said almost pleadingly. "Are you guys more than friends?"

Ellie was starting to feel a little annoyed. "I told you I don't know. And I don't see how it's any of your business anyway."

"None of my business?" Sean replied indignantly. "How is it not any of my business?"

"Maybe because you're not my boyfriend anymore? You left me, remember?"

"Yeah because I had to! I had to go back to my parents, Ellie. I thought you understood." Sean's eyes were flashing with anger.

"I did understand. But that doesn't mean that you have a right to pry into my life anymore. We're not together and it's none of your concern if I find someone else."

"So the two of you are together," Sean declared.

Ellie let out a loud sigh of frustration. "You know what, think what you want. I don't care." She stepped back into the hallway and started to walk away when he grabbed her arm.

"Wait."

She turned around reluctantly.

"Please don't walk away. I don't want things to end like this. I…I still care about you El. I didn't want to leave you like that and it was so hard for me to do." Ellie heard an unusual vulnerability in his voice.

"And I had been thinking that even though I'm living in Wasaga, that doesn't mean we can't be together. It's not that far from here and I can use my parents' car to visit you a lot. Or you could even come live with me while your mom is getting better. My parents won't mind." He paused. "I still love you Ellie. I never stopped."

Ellie was speechless.

"I just need to know if you still love me," Sean continued. "That's what I came here to find out. Do you?"

* * *

**Short I know, but more is coming soon!**


	24. Anger and Confusion

"Um, Ellie? You haven't said anything in about two full minutes," Sean said with a slight frown on his face. "Are you still…alive in there?"

Ellie nodded quickly. She hadn't even realized how long she had been standing there thinking. "Yeah, sorry. I'm just a little…overwhelmed."

"I know it's a big question, but the answer should be simple enough," Sean said. He paused. "And if it's taking you this long to think about it, then I guess that is my answer."

"No," Ellie said quickly. "It's just something I really have to think about. I did love you and I still care about you a lot. But moving in with you and everything…it's a big decision."

"You did it before."

"But things are different now."

Sean set his jaw. "Because of Craig." It wasn't a question.

"Because of a lot of things. I mean, moving in with you here is much different than moving to Wasaga. I'd have to transfer schools, I wouldn't be close to my mom, I'd have to leave my friends…"

"But you'd be with me," Sean said. "Unless you'd rather be with _him_."

"Sean you're being ridiculous. You act as if I cheated on you or something."

Sean stood up straighter. "So something happened between you two? You kissed? Or did more?"

Ellie balled her hands into fists. "Sean, I told you before, what happens between me and Craig is none of your business."

Sean stepped out of the alcove, glaring in the direction of Craig's room. "He was my best friend."

"And he did nothing wrong," Ellie said firmly.

"I have to talk to him," Sean said suddenly, walking towards the closed door.

"What? Why?" Ellie hurried after him. "Sean, what are you doing? Why do you need to talk to him?"

"You're not telling me anything. I want to know what's going on, I want to know why he would do this to me…" Sean trailed off as he pounded a fist against the door then shoved it open. "I need to talk to you, Craig."

Ellie followed him into the room, wishing that he would calm down, but helpless to do anything. She truly didn't know if she still loved him like she used to. Seeing him brought back old feelings but that didn't mean she was ready or willing to get back together with him and move in again.

Craig had been sitting on the bed with Ashley but now he stood up, both of them obviously startled by the sudden appearance of Sean and Ellie. "Okay," Craig replied slowly. "What about?"

"About you and Ellie. What you've been doing with my girl behind my back."

"I'm not your girl!" Ellie cried in exasperation.

Craig held up his hands. "Look, Sean, I'm sorry if you're upset but it just happened and neither of us meant for it to happen. We haven't been friends in a while and I know I'm not the one to blame for that."

Sean's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

"You're the one who started hanging out with Jay and his crowd of ex-convicts. I'm sorry that things got screwed up for you at school and you had to go but don't take it out on me. I can't help the feelings that developed."

"Don't pass judgements on my and my friends like you're better than us," Sean said in a low dangerous voice. "You don't know what has been going on in my life the past year so just butt out."

Craig snorted. "Oh like how you're butting out of my life right now? We've all been through a lot, Sean, so don't give me that crappy excuse."

And then Ellie watched frozen as Sean's fist connected with Craig's jaw. Craig went down and Sean stood over him, breathing heavily and glowering.

"SEAN!" Ellie cried, grabbing his arm in order to hold him back from hitting Craig again. "Stop it! Are you crazy?!"

Sean didn't answer, just watched as Ashley helped a stunned Craig to his feet. The boy held his jaw with his hand, staring at Sean in disbelief.

"What the hell was that?!" Craig asked indignantly, wincing.

Sean shook his head and turned to leave. Ellie held onto his arm but he shook her off and quickly exited, slamming the door behind himself.

Ellie turned to look at the others who were just as bewildered as she was. Even though Sean had used violence before to act out his anger, the sudden outburst was out of character. She couldn't understand what could have caused it but wanted to find out.

"I'm gonna go after him," she said quickly, hurrying towards the door.

"Yeah find out why he thought it was a good idea to break my face," Craig muttered, obviously seething.

Ellie ran down the hall to the stairs, desperate for answers. Not only from Sean but from herself. His earlier question still echoed in her mind but she knew she wouldn't know the answer until she found out the whole story of what was going on with him.


	25. Hard To Say Goodbye

Ashley returned from the bathroom with a damp cloth. "Here." She sat next to Craig and pressed it against his jaw. "Feel any better?"

"No."

"I don't know what got into him." Ashley shook her head. "I guess he's that crazy about Ellie."

"Well you got the crazy part right," Craig mumbled.

"Well love makes you do some pretty strange things. So does the thought of losing that love." Ashley looked at Craig and knew she had struck a cord. "I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to imply…"

"No, no it's okay. You're right. Love does make you wacky." He sighed. "Maybe I'm more pissed at the fact that Ellie just ran out of here after him instead of staying with me. Or I'm afraid that she may still love him."

"Well, you know, it's really hard to let past relationships go. Actually, I don't even really think that you stop loving someone you cared about that much. You kinda just move on but a part of my heart will always belong to you." Ashley realized what she said and quickly corrected herself. "I mean, part of _their_ heart will belong to…" She trailed off, knowing it was no use.

Craig shifted away from her. "Ash don't. Please. I'm still working on the moving on part. And I'd like to keep moving on because, well, when I don't, things tend to go badly."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. Or maybe I did. I don't know what I mean. All I know was that I think it was a mistake for me and Sean to have come here." She stood up. "And I should go. I'm sorry for all the trouble we've caused." She started towards the door.

"Wait. Ash don't leave like that." Craig stood up to stand in front of her. "I…I want things to end better than they did the last time we broke up. I don't know if we can be friends but, well, I want to be able to see you in the halls and not have to run the other way."

Ashley smiled. "Yeah. That sounds good."

Craig hesitantly took a step towards her and wrapped her in an awkward hug. "Okay, so I'll see you."

Ashley smiled at him tightly as she pulled away. "Right. See you." She left the room and shut the door gently behind herself. Then she paused and ran her fingers over the smooth wood. She felt a deep sadness at leaving him and something inside of her wanted to shove the door open and just stay in his arms forever. But no, she had to leave. She had someone else waiting for her at home.

* * *

Ellie hurried down the stairs and skidded to a stop in the lobby when she saw Sean sitting on a bench by the front doors with his face in his hands. She approached slowly, trying to figure out what to say. Part of her was angry at the way he was acting but she was mostly just confused.

"Sean," she said in a voice that was barely a whisper--somehow it was hard for her to get the singleword out. He still heard her and jerked his head up.

"Ellie, please, just leave me alone."

"I can't." Ellie sat down next to him.

"I'm sorry for making a scene like that." Sean was staring down at the floor. "Tell Craig I said I'm sorry for hitting him."

"Why don't you tell him yourself?" Ellie suggested gently. "After you tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing. Nothing." He still wouldn't look at her.

"Is it your parents?"

Sean shook his head quickly. "No. They're fine."

"Are you sure?" Ellie pressed.

"It's not them." Sean finally turned to Ellie, his face grim. "It's me. I messed up, El. Really bad this time."

"What happened?"

"My friend…he was selling drugs. I wasn't going to do any but I went with him to meet some other guys who wanted to buy some. One of them was a cop. I'm due in court in a few weeks." He bit his lip. "My lawyer says that even though I swear I wasn't selling, I was still there and things don't look good for me. He says if I could wind up in juvenile prison."

Ellie felt her heart sink. "Oh, Sean…"

"My parents are furious of course and I just don't know what's going to happen. I got so angry before, because, I don't know, I thought that if I came back here, you would be waiting for me and make everything okay." He shook his head, looking back down at the floor. "Stupid."

Ellie didn't know what to say. This news had been completely unexpected and now she saw things differently. Sean needed her—how could she refuse him? "I will be here for you," she said quietly. "And I'll try my best to make things okay."

Sean looked up, hope glinting in his eyes. "You will?"

Ellie nodded. Sean's arms came around her in a warm embrace and she felt content. But there in her mind, as she sat there in Sean's arms, flashed a picture of Craig's face right before they had kissed.


	26. Dashed Hopes

Craig had felt a huge relief when Ashley had left. He missed her terribly but seeing her brought too much pain. He hoped in the future that feeling would lessen and they could be friends but for now, he needed to be without her in his life for a while. And hopefully, he would have someone new to fill that void and help him heal.

He sat down in the chair in the corner of the room, wondering what Sean and Ellie could possibly be talking about. Various scenarios ran through his mind; ones where Ellie told Sean off and ran upstairs to profess her love for Craig; others where Sean proposed to Ellie and she said yes. The latter weren't so enjoyable.

Craig had been waiting for almost two hours before the phone finally rang. He leaped over his bed and snatched it up. "Hello?" he said breathlessly.

"Hey, buddy, how's it going?"

Craig sat down heavily on his bed, disappointed. "Hey, Bradley, what's going on?"

"Well, I'm at my mom's house right now. We're celebrating because…I'm out! Got the okay from the doc today. I get to leave in two days, just hafta tie up some loose ends. Of course, I'm still going to see a private shrink while I'm at home, but I'll be at home!"

"Wow, that's great!" Craig said, trying to dredge up some enthusiasm. "Congratulations."

"Yeah, I'm pretty psyched. I'm gonna be coming back later tonight. How's everything by you?"

"Uh, fine."

"Did you see that girl, Ellie?"

"Yeah," Craig replied, trying to make his voice sound natural. "She's good."

"That's good…so, anything going on between you two?" Bradley asked, a hint of teasing in his voice.

Craig sighed inwardly. "I don't know yet. There's been a few…complications."

"Well, whatever it is, I'm sure you two can work it out. You guys seem like you have something special going."

_Yeah, I just hope she thinks so too_, Craig thought. Aloud he said, "Yeah well we'll see. Um, I gotta go get something to eat. I'll see you tonight though." He hung up the phone then leaned back onto his bed. _I wonder if she's through talking with Sean. _Then he sat up straight. _No, you know what, I'm sick of waiting around for her. I'll just go to her room and see if she's there and if she's not then I'll find her and tell her how I feel. It's not fair that Sean gets to and I don't._ Resolutely, he got to his feet and left the room. He took the elevator up to the seventh floor and then walked down the hall to her room. Taking a deep breath, he knocked quietly. After a second the door opened, and Haile stood there.

"Hi, um, is Ellie here?"

Haile shook her head. "Nope. She went down to dinner."

"Oh. Okay, I'll just head down there. Thanks."

"Um, well you might want to wait," Haile said as he turned away.

"Why?"

"Because she's with some guy and they seemed to be talking about something really important."

"About what?" Craig asked, trying to be casual.

Haile shrugged. "I wasn't really listening. I was doing my hair and the blow dryer is pretty loud. But I did hear something about her moving to some place. Wasaga Beach, I think it was?"

Craig felt as though he had been punched in the gut and actually took a step back. "W-what?"

"Yeah they just came up here so she could call her mother but she couldn't get in touch with her so they went down to dinner." Haile peered at him carefully. "Are you okay?"

Craig barely managed to nod.

"They did seem kinda touchy-feely with each other," Haile said, nodding knowingly. "You shouldn't be jealous though, I'm sure there are plenty of girls ten times better than Ellie who would want to be with you." She flashed him a flirtatious smile.

Craig just nodded again. "Right. Thanks." He turned before she could say anything else and nearly ran down the hall to the stairs. Once safely inside the stairwell, he leaned against the wall. So Ellie had chosen Sean. Not only that, but she was going to move in with him, leaving Craig forever.

Craig slammed his fist into the hard stone wall, relishing in the pain that coursed through his now bleeding knuckles. Then, feeling as though the strength had been drained out of him, he slowly slid down the wall to the floor.

He wasn't planning on moving for a while.

* * *

Sean wouldn't stop talking about moving in no matter how many times Ellie changed the subject. All the way upstairs, backdownstairs, as they moved through the cafeteria line, and now at the table, he went on and on about how excited he was.

"Our place is small but I'm sure we'll figure something out. My dad can maybe put up a wall to split my room in half." He grinned mischievously at her. "Unless you don't want a wall."

Ellie managed a faint smile back then took a big gulp of her soda in order to avoid answering him. "Um, don't forget I still have to ask my mom."

Sean waved his hand carelessly. "I'm sure she'll be okay with it. She let you the last time, when she realized how much better it would be for you, remember?"

_Yeah but will it really be better for me this time?_ Ellie asked silently.

"Anyway, so things might get rough in a few months when I have to start showing up in court but I know I can get through it with you." Sean put his hand over hers. "And knowing if I get off, thatI'll be coming back to you…well that may be all the incentive I need to get myself out of this mess somehow." He paused then glanced at her t-shirt. "Since when are you into the Rolling Stones?"

Ellie shrugged. "I started listening to them over the summer."

"Oh. Um, are you still playing guitar?"

"Not too much recently. I'm thinking about picking it up again when I get out of here though." _And Craig promised to teach me how to play "Satisfaction"_, she added mentally.

"That's great." Sean suddenly stood up and came around to her side of the table, sitting down next to her. "I can't wait to hear all the songs you write." He leaned in to kiss her.

Ellie's mind flashed to the song that Craig had written her and she pulled away. "I can't."

Sean frowned. "Can't what?" He smiled hesitantly. "Don't worry about having garlic breath, I'm not a vampire."

"No, it's not that. I can't move in with you."

"What? Why not?"

Ellie shook her head. "I'm sorry. I really am. But...I moved on Sean. I had no choice. I missed you so much when you left and I'm glad to see you again, but so much has changed in my life over the past few weeks alone. _I've_ changed and I'm not just talking about my taste in music. And I can't be with you anymore."

"B-but Ellie…" Sean reached out for her hand but she stood up.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have agreed to this in the first place."

"But I need you El."

"And I'll be there for you as a friend. I can't give you anything else." Ellie bit her lip. "Listen, it's getting dark out. You should start heading back." With that, she turned and hurried out of the cafeteria, leaving Sean staring forlornly after her.

Ellie felt guilty but right now her main concern was to find Craig and finally admit her feelings. She went up to his room and knocked several times but there was no answer. She went downstairs and inquired at the front desk about any sessions going on but there was only one for the older patients and all the doctors had left for the day.

_Where could he be?_ Ellie wondered.


	27. Escape

This time, sneaking out was easier. Craig didn't even bother with the elaborate method that he had used last time. Instead, he went downstairs and sneaked into the bathroom reserved for guests then wriggled out of the small high window. He managed to land in a dumpster below which cushioned his fall although didn't help his appearance or smell.

Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered very much anymore.

As he walked down the street, keeping his head low, he wondered why he continued to invest so much of himself into other people. It seemed that every time he did this, they only would leave him. There had been a time where he had considered his passion and emotion to be strengths; now they only seemed to hold him back.

Craig paused when he reached the bus stop. He hadn't really had a purpose in mind when he sneaked out, he just knew he had to get out of there. Now he stood there, trying to figure out what to do now.

There had been so many times in his life where he just wanted to run away and start a whole new life, leaving his old problems behind. This was definitely one of them but over the years he had realized how impractical those whims were. Still he didn't think he was going to be able to stay at the clinic and see Ellie all the time. Besides all he had with him were the clothes on his back and fifty bucks in his pocket. That wasn't going to get him far.

So he kept walking as the sun sank lower and lower in the sky. It wasn't until it was completely dark out that he stopped to look around. Without realizing it, he had been heading back home. He was now on a long narrow street with only a few street lamps here and there illuminating the black asphalt. Either side of the road was lined with trees and he could faintly make out some houses set far back among them. Feeling a bit nervous now about how vulnerable he was to any psycho that could pass, he quickened his pace, desperate to get into a more congested area.

Just then, Craig heard the motor of a car behind him. Struggling to keep from running, he kept along at a steady pace but could hear the car approaching. His heart beat faster when out of the corner of his eye he saw a black sedan pull up on his left. When it reached him, it slowed it a snail's pace and he saw one of the tinted windows roll down.

Craig had already started running when he heard a voice call his name.

"Craig! Stop!"

The voice sounded vaguely familiar and he paused, turning around to see Dr. Melendez's head poking out of the driver's side window.

Craig stood there, confused as the doctor slowly drove up to meet him.

"What are you doing here?" Craig asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," Dr. Melendez replied with a grim smile.

Craig winced. He had been so surprised at seeing the doctor that he forgot how much trouble he was going to be in for sneaking out. Again.

"Off to save another life, Mr. Manning?" Dr. Melendez asked with a twinkle in his eye. He chuckled then leaned over and opened the passenger side door. "Need a ride?"

Craig climbed in reluctantly. "Um, how did you find me?"

Dr. Melendez tapped his fingers to his temples. "Psychic." He started driving. "I've also been following you since you sneaked out. Saw your fall into the dumpster. You should think about being a stuntman."

Craig didn't know if he should laugh so he settled for a slight smile.

"So where were you headed this time?" Dr. Melendez asked.

Craig shrugged. "Don't really know."

"Uh-huh. Say, don't you live around here?"

"Yeah but I wasn't really heading here. I just kinda wound up walking in this direction."

Dr. Melendez shrugged. "Well how am I supposed to know where to drop you off if you don't tell me?" He stopped at a light and looked at Craig expectantly.

Craig opened his mouth to answer then stopped, confused. "Wait, what? Shouldn't you be taking me back to the clinic and then sticking me under high security on the tenth floor?"

The light changed and Dr. Melendez continued driving. "Well if there was some place that you needed to go that badly, then we should get you there, shouldn't we? So tell me where you were headed."

Craig shook his head. "I told you, I wasn't really sure. It's okay, you can just take me back. I'm sorry for sneaking out again."

"No you're not or else you wouldn't have done it." The doctor sighed as he turned up a side street. "But I'll bring you back if that's what you want." He made a U-turn then got back into the main road. "You could cut me a little slack though. I'm just trying to figure out why you keep sneaking out like this." He sent a sideways glance Craig's way. "You could just tell me and save us both a lot of time."

"I just…I needed to get out."

"Why?"

"Because something happened. And I couldn't stay there anymore."

"Because of that young lady? Ellie?"

Craig started to say no but couldn't bring himself to lie to the older man. Instead he nodded. "Yeah."

"So why does she keep making you want to sneak out?"

"Well, the first time, it was because I wanted to go to her because I was worried. But this time…I couldn't be near her. She, um, she's getting back together with her ex."

"I see." Dr. Melendez was silent for a moment. "So you talked to her about this and she told you that she was getting back with this guy?"

"Well…no. Her roommate told me and I didn't exactly stick around to chat about it." Craig knew where the doctor was going with this. "But what would have been the point of that? We both would have just gotten upset and she would have felt bad so I saved her from a confrontation like that."

"Or you saved yourself from that confrontation," Dr. Melendez said matter-of-factly. "I can't help but notice that you have a history of running away from your problems. Not just literally but, well, for example, trying to kill yourself when your girlfriend cheated on you. And of course you told me how much you thought of running away when you were living with your father."

"Well, what did you expect me to do? Be happy living with him?" Craig spat out. "Just sit there and take it? Any normal person in that situation would want to leave."

"Hey, hey, I'm not saying that your desire to leave home wasn't natural. What I'm saying is that because of that, your natural instinct every time you think you might get hurt, your instinct is to run. Does that make sense?"

Craig hated to admit it but it seemed that Dr. Melendez was fairly accurate with his analysis. "Yeah it does."

By now they had reached the clinic and Dr. Melendez pulled up in front of the building. "Well, I think I've done enough off-duty work for today," he said with a wink. "But come and see me tomorrow and we'll talk some more okay?"

Craig nodded and climbed out of the car. "Okay. Um, what am I supposed to say when I walk in there?"

"Don't worry, I told them what was going on. You won't get into any trouble. Just try and stay in your room for the rest of the night, okay?"

Craig smiled. "I'll try." He turned and walked hesitantly into the building. The security guard caught sight of him and motioned to the nurse at the front desk. She quickly stepped around the deskand fixed Craig with a disappointed look.

"Sorry," was all Craig could think of to say. She just nodded, her lips pursed and led him to his room.

When Craig opened the door, Bradley was sitting on his bed, reading a book. He looked up when Craig entered and raised his eyebrows. "Man you look like you took a bath in some dirt. What happened?"

Craig shook his head. "Long story. To sum up, snuck out, got caught." He sat down heavily on his bed then leaned back. He noticed some suitcases on the floor. "Already started packing?"

"Yeah, couldn't resist." Bradley set down his book. "Everything okay with you?"

Craig shrugged. "A little better than before."

"Oh yeah that girl Ellie came by before while you were gone. She said she had been looking all over for you and that it's very important that you see her."

Craig sighed. "I already know what she's going to tell me. I'll go see her tomorrow. Right now I need some sleep."

"Are you sure? It seemed like it was pretty urgent."

Craig remembered what Dr. Melendez had said to him just a little while ago and sighed. "Okay. I guess I should just go and just deal with it already. Get it over with."

Bradley nodded slowly. "Uh sure thing. You go do that."

Craig got to his feet and headed off to Ellie's room, ready to hear what she had to say.


	28. Finally

Ellie had been desperate to find Craig after hearing what Haile had told him and how he had reacted. After leaving a message with Bradley, she had finally given up and resolved to go to his room first thing in the morning.

She hadn't been in her room for more than a half-hour when there was a soft knock at the door. She glanced at Haile who was sitting on her bed, chatting on the phone with her boyfriend .The girl shrugged then focused her attention back on her conversation. Ellie got up from her desk where she had been flipping idly through a magazine and answered it. Part of her wasn't surprised to see Craig standing there.

"Hi," he said quietly. She saw the hurt in his eyes and felt a tug in her chest.

"Um, hey. I need to talk to you. For real." She grabbed his hand and led him out into the hallway. He leaned against the wall, tucking his hands into his pockets. She suddenly realized how dirty his clothes were. "What happened to you?" she asked bluntly.

Craig looked down at his disheveled appearance. "Oh, um, it's a long story. I'll tell you some other time. So you wanted to tell me something?"

"Yes." She took a deep breath. "Well first of all, I'm not moving in with Sean." She saw a flicker of hope in his eyes and continued. "And we're not getting back together."

"But Haile said…"

"Yeah I know. I was going to because, I don't know, he's going through a hard time and I thought I owed it to him. But I don't."

"Well, um, what…what made you change your mind?" Craig asked cautiously.

"A few things. But mostly one thing in particular. And I have to say this before things get screwed up again." Ellie heard the ding of the elevator as she closed her eyes, preparing herself to finally admit her feelings. She was terrified but it was finally the right time. She opened her eyes and then saw the man walking down the hall towards them. He was walking with a cane and limping as he made his way slowly towards them.

"Daddy?" A word that she hadn't used since her childhood escaped from her lips and her heart beat faster than it ever had in her life. She took a hesitant step forward then saw the broad familiar smile and ran into his arms. He grasped her tightly with his free hand.

"Hi honey," he whispered. "Sorry to just pop by like this. I tried to call but your line has been busy for hours."

Ellie didn't even have any emotion left in her to be annoyed at Haile. "I'm just glad you're okay." She pulled away from him. "You are okay, right?"

Mr. Nash nodded. "I got a bullet in my leg but it'll heal. I'm just grateful to be alive." He smiled grimly. "It's ironic how playing dead can be the thing that saves your life."

"I'm glad it did," Ellie told him sincerely, feeling tears spilling over onto her cheeks. She hugged him again tightly then pulled away and noticed he was looking over her shoulder. She suddenly remembered that Craig was standing there and wiped her face. "Oh sorry. Dad this is my…this is Craig."

Craig gave an awkward wave. "Hi. Nice to meet you. I-I'm glad you're all right."

Mr. Nash smiled. "Thank you, Craig. It's nice to meet you too."

"Did you see Mom?" Ellie asked.

Mr. Nash nodded. "Yes, I had called her and told her that I wanted to talk to you before she did, that's the only reason why she didn't call." He paused. "I'm glad she's trying to help you, honey. Even though I'm going to miss you while you are here." He stroked her hair affectionately. "But you're going to try your hardest to get better, right?"

Ellie nodded. "Absolutely."

"Um, okay, well if you're not busy, I got permission from the front desk for you to come home for the night and I'll take you back tomorrow."

"Oh really? That's great." Ellie paused. "I just have to do one thing." She turned and walked over to where Craig was standing and kissed him squarely on the lips. It was a short kiss but it still sent a tingle down her spine. "Remember when I said 'maybe' before?" she whispered into his ear. "Well it's not maybe anymore. It's yes." When she pulled away, she saw Craig slowly grin.

"Really?"

Ellie nodded. "I gotta go now but I'll come by tomorrow when I get back."

"Really?"

Ellie laughed. "Yes. Really. I promise." She turned to join her father who was waiting by the elevator.

"Is he the Craig that your mother told me about? The one who saved you?" he asked as the doors opened and they stepped inside.

"Yes. He did save me," Ellie replied. She glanced down the hall at Craig before the doors closed and realized that over the last few hectic weeks, even though she had tried to fight it, she had begun to fall in love. _He did save me._

* * *

**More to come soon!**


	29. Friends

Craig could hardly sleep that night and for once it had nothing to do with his disorder. He kept on replaying the moment when Ellie had kissed him over and over in his mind. He couldn't believe how much had changed in the last hour. He had left his room thinking that his feelings and hopes were going to be crushed and returned with the solid beginnings of something he had a feeling would be different than anything else he had experienced.

He didn't manage to fall asleep until the rays of sunlight poked through the blinds and he was awoken by voices in his room just two hours later. He opened his eyes and saw blurred figures standing by Bradley's bed. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and the figures came into focus. One of them was his roommate and the other was an older woman he recognized from the picture as Bradley's mother.

Bradley noticed him watching them and smiled apologetically. "Sorry if we woke you. We kind of get loud when we're excited."

"It's okay," Craig said, sitting up.

"This is my roommate Craig," Bradley said. "And this is my mother, Shelley."

Craig gently shook her hand and she smiled warmly at him.

"Nice meeting you." She glanced at Bradley. "I'll bring down the last of your stuff down to the car. You make sure you're not missing anything else." She patted him affectionately on the arm then left the room with a small suitcase.

"So what, were you gonna run out of here without saying goodbye?" Craig joked as he pushed away the covers and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

"No," Bradley replied defensively. "I was going to wake you up eventually." He put his hands on his hips and took a long look around the room. "Is it crazy that a part of me is going to miss this place a little bit?"

Craig shrugged. "You were here for a while. And it helped you."

"Yeah." Bradley looked at Craig and there was an awkward silence between them for a minute. Then he extended his hand. "It's been really great having you for a roommate."

Craig took his hand. "You too."

Bradley grinned then pulled Craig in for a hug. "Take care of yourself and get better. And you'd better keep in touch. I'll hunt you down."

Craig chuckled. "I promise. See ya." He watched Bradley walk out of the room, feeling surprisingly sorry to see his roommate go. They had managed to create a bond over the short time they spent together and Craig was definitely planning on fulfilling his promise to keep in touch.

Craig then got washed and dressed then headed down to breakfast. He sat at a small table by himself, reading a newspaper but also getting more and more eager to see Ellie. He wondered when she would be coming back. He ate his bagel as quickly as possible then headed back upstairs to ensure that he didn't miss her.

When he stuck his key card into the lock on the door, he could hear the phone ringing. Figuring it was Joey, he hurriedly opened the door and dashed over to grab the phone on the fourth ring. "Hello?"

"Craig?"

Craig recognized Sean's voice. "Yeah?" _What is he going to do, yell at me for taking Ellie away?_ he thought bitterly.

"It's Sean."

"I know. What do you want?"

"Listen, I…I'm calling to apologize." Sean sighed. "I'm sorry for hitting you like that. I was just really frustrated and angry but you didn't deserve it and I was way out of line."

"Okay," Craig said slowly. "I accept your apology. See ya."

"Wait, Craig, I'm not done. I want you to know that I'm okay with you dating Ellie. As long as you don't hurt her."

"Well I'm glad I got your permission," Craig replied, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "And I'm not going to hurt her."

"I know. Um, I also wanted to say that…I'm sorry that we're not really friends anymore. That I stopped hanging out with you when I got caught up with Jay."

Craig bit his lip, unsure of how to respond. The apology did sound sincere enough. "Yeah that did kinda suck. But I accept your apology. For real."

"All right, well I gotta get going. Take care, man."

"Yeah you too. Bye." Craig hung up the phone and his hand lingered on the receiver for a second as he thought. He was glad that Sean had cared enough to apologize but he knew that they would never really be friends again.

It was funny how quickly things could change.

* * *

Ellie woke up almost the same time as Craig and she received a surprise phone call as well. However, hers was the reason why she woke up and she answered rather groggily. "Hello?" 

"Ellie, it's Ash."

Ellie blinked, sitting up in bed. "Oh. Hey."

"Hey. Um, I realized that we didn't really get to spend any time together when Sean and I came to visit. Would you mind if I came over?"

"Uh no, of course not."

"Okay, I'll be there in a little bit."

Ellie hung up the phone slowly then got out of bed and got washed and dressed. As she got ready, she wondered what Ashley had to say. Her voice had been unreadable over the phone.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang and she hurried downstairs to get it. Her mother and father were in the kitchen talking and Ellie felt like it was old times again. No, better than old times, because her mother hadn't looked so happy in years and Ellie had checked to make sure there was not a drop of alcohol in the house.

"That's Ashley," Ellie told them. "It's okay that she came over, right? We just have to talk for a little bit."

"Yeah that's fine, sweetie," Mrs. Nash said. "But we don't want to drop you off too late, okay?"

"Yeah it won't take long." Ellie answered the door. "Hey."

"Hi." Ashley awkwardly stepped inside and then followed Ellie silently to her room, only pausing to say hello to Ellie's parents. When they reached the bedroom, Ashley hesitated then sat down on the edge of the bed, whereas she normally would have just bounced right on. Ellie sat down in the desk chair opposite her.

"So." Ellie cleared her throat. "I guess you're here to rip me apart."

Ashley raised her eyebrows. "To…what?"

"To rip me apart. Yell at me. Maybe throw a few punches?" Ellie saw Ashley's confused face. "For Craig? Going out with your best friends ex is one of those cardinal rules of friendship that you're not supposed to break."

"Yeah well there are exceptions to every rule aren't there?" Ashley said. "Like say, when I cheat on said boyfriend or when I see that he is really crazy about my best friend. And she apparently is too." She smiled slightly.

Ellie couldn't believe it. "Really? You mean you're not mad?"

"Well, it is going to be pretty awkward. It's not like you guys and me and Pete will be double dating or anything but I think…I think that you two need each other right now. That you two are right for each other, more so than Craig and I were. And I'm not about to stand in the way of that."

Ellie leaped from her chair to throw her arms around her best friend. "Ash, not to sound like a teen movie cliché, but you really are the best friend a girl could ask for."

Ashley laughed, hugging her back. "I'm glad you think so."

Ellie sat back in her chair, feeling like her life was finally coming together. It looked like her family was getting on track, her friendship with Ashley had overcome a major test and best of all, in just a little while she was going to see Craig.

* * *

**Just a little bit more to go. The next chapter may be the last, we'll see. Hard to believe I started this 2 whole months ago! **


	30. True

Ellie's heart raced as Craig put his arms around her waist. She could feel his heart beating just as quickly against hers as he pulled her close. Then she felt something crawling on her arm and let out a squeal. Craig lost his grip on her and they both toppled to the ground by the base of the tree.

They were in the courtyard of the clinic that night, attempting to sneak out. Ellie had insisted that Craig show her how to and they had managed to get outside without incident. Now they were struggling to get over the brick wall.

They had spent the entire day together once Ellie had returned. They both had had sessions for part of the day but they ate dinner together and Craig had given Ellie a brief guitar lesson. She was itching to kiss him but for now they had just talked. They both agreed to take things slowly and that their number one priority was making themselves better.

"Okay I forgot to mention an important part of this is being quiet," Craig whispered, wiping himself off as he got to his feet.

Ellie took the hand he extended to her. "Something was on me, okay? I don't like bugs."

Craig chuckled. "I wouldn't think that you of all people would be afraid of little creepy crawlers crawling up your arm…" He wiggled his fingers down her back and she smacked his arm away.

"Stop that! Okay, you think I'm so helpless?" She grabbed onto the tree trunk and hauled herself up. After a few maneuvers and a leap of faith and she was over. After a few minutes, Craig landed in heap beside her.

"That wasn't so hard, now was it?" Craig asked, panting heavily. "Where are we going, anyway?"

Ellie shrugged as they walked slowly towards the bus stop. "Nowhere. Anywhere. It's not important, it's just important that we're out here. Free"

"Okay that's very sweet and poetic. But the bus is coming now so why don't we get on it. Then we can go anywhere and everywhere."

"Okay." Ellie followed him to the bus stop and stood there, basking in the thrill of being somewhere she knew she shouldn't be. They climbed on and took seats in the back.

"So where to?" Craig asked as he sat down in a two-seater across the aisle from her. He leaned against the side of the bus, putting his feet up on the seat next to him.

Ellie shrugged. "I thought I told you, I don't know. Anywhere you want to go?"

"Not real…wait. Yeah I know where we should go." Craig grinned excitedly and Ellie couldn't help herself. She got up to sit behind him then leaned over and kissed him softly. Then she smiled and wiped a smudge of dirt off his nose.

"So where are we going?" she asked.

Craig still had his eyes closed from the kiss, a dazed expression on his face. "What?"

"This magical place? What is it?"

"Oh." Craig opened his eyes. "Uh it's a surprise. You'll see when we get there."

They rode for a few minutes in silence before Craig pulled on the cord to let the bus driver know they wanted to get off. "Come on." He reached out his hand and she took it, hoping her hands weren't sweating too much.

They stepped off the bus and Ellie felt wet drops hit her skin as the bus drove away. "It's raining."

"Good observation." Craig tugged on Ellie's hand. "Come on! Hurry!"

Elle smiled and squinted in the downpour as they jogged down a dark street then turned a corner. They had only gone a few yards but were soaked.

"Where is it?" Ellie asked, pushing her dripping hair from her eyes.

"We're here." Craig motioned around them. They were standing in the park nearby their high school.

"This," Ellie said flatly. "The park? This is why we're standing here catching pneumonia?"

Craig frowned. "It's not just any park. It's got swings and a jungle gym and pretty bushes…" He tugged on her hand and she reluctantly followed.

"So it's a typical park," Ellie said.

"Well I didn't show you the best part." He pulled out a pocketknife.

Ellie raised her eyebrows. "That it will be the last place I ever see?"

Craig rolled his eyes. "This tree over here." He pulled her over to a massive oak by the fence. The full branches offered some protection from the rain and Ellie peered at what Craig was pointing to. There were several names carved into the tree, obviously of different couples that had come to that same park.

"So we came all the way here in order to carve our names onto some cliché out of a romance novel?"

Craig's eyes lost their excitement for a moment and Ellie felt instantly sorry for what she said.

"No it's okay, I didn't mean it like that. Let's do it."

"You don't have to if you don't want to," Craig said, looking down. "I just wanted to show you one more thing." He slowly extended his arm to point to two names drawn with a heart around them.

"Joey and Julia," Ellie said. Then she realized. "Oh is that your mom and Joey?"

Craig nodded. "Yeah. He showed Angie once and she showed me. They carved it when she was pregnant with Angie."

"Oh," Ellie whispered, getting it. "I see." She rubbed his back gently as they stared at the names intertwined forever in the wood. "Go ahead. You can do it. Seriously I want to."

Craig smiled slightly then went to work at the tree. Within a few minutes he was done. When he stepped back, Ellie leaned in to read it.

"Craig loves Ellie." She paused then blinked, thinking the rain must be blurring her vision. But no the words were clearly there. When she looked at Craig, he was staring at her, his blue eyes wide and intent.

"I-I know we said we would take it slowly…but it just kinda happened. Must be something wrong with his pocket knife." He laughed nervously then shook his head. "You're probably really freaked out right now. It's too soon I know. I just…well it just came out so easily when I was carving. But it wasn't right. I'll scratch it out if you want." He started towards the tree with the knife but Ellie grabbed his wrist.

"Don't. Leave it." Ellie wanted to tell him that she was falling in love too but couldn't quite get it out. She wished she could be as free with her feelings as Craig was but some little part of her wouldn't let her be.

Craig let his hand fall to his side. "Are you sure?" His eyes probed at her and she started to turn away. She felt his hand on her chin and he gently turned her face back so she was looking directly at him. "I never used to have an easy time expressing my feelings. I'm sure you heard all about that. But when something's right, I can feel it in my gut and I'm sure of it and if you are too then just tell me."

"I…I don't think I…" Ellie trailed off.

"Yes you can," Craig said firmly. One side of his mouth curved into a half-smile. "Come on, I'm the one who should be freaking over this, I'm the guy. Just tell me anything. I don't care if you're not up to my level of feelings yet just tell me something."

Ellie nodded. "Okay. I will. Come on." She led him out from under the tree to the swing set. They sat on swings adjacent to each other and Ellie looked up at the sky as she swung gently. "The rain's letting up."

Craig looked up too. "Yeah. Those clouds look like they're clearing up too. You can see the moon."

"Yeah…" Ellie looked back at him. "My past relationships have been…well, crappy. Marco turned out to be gay and Sean left. I don't have a lot of experience with this sort of thing as it is and two broken hearts don't help the situation. And no offense, but your track record isn't very comforting either."

Craig winced at that. "I know."

"I mean I'm not holding that against you," Ellie said quickly. "But the past just messes with you, you know?"

"I know," he said again. "I will never ever do anything like that ever again. I swear."

Ellie let her feet drag on the floor to allow the swing to slow to a stop. "I didn't think something like this could happen so fast." She bit her lip and felt like she was about to dive off a cliff. "Falling in love."

Craig's eyes lit up and Ellie instantly felt relieved. "Really?" he asked hopefully.

Ellie nodded. "Yeah, I-I think so."

"Really?"

Ellie laughed. "Why don't you ever believe me?"

Craig shrugged, smiling. "Good things don't happen to me often. Kinda makes me skeptical about believing it when they do." He got up suddenly and went to stand behind Ellie. "I used to bring Angie here all the time," he said as he pulled back her swing then let it go. "She was never happy with how hard I pushed her on the swings. She always wanted to go higher and higher." He gave the swing a hard shove, sending Ellie flying upwards.

"Um, I should mention that I had a bad swing experience," Ellie said as she swung higher and higher. "When I was younger, I let go when I was at the top and…well it was my first visit to the hospital."

Craig chuckled. "Well I'm sure you know better now."

Ellie twisted around to look at him. "Yeah I do know better now."

They spent the rest of the night running around on the playground like children. It started to drizzle again but Ellie didn't care. She chased Craig through the jungle gym, climbing the monkey bars with energy she didn't even know she had. They slid down the slide, Craig with Ellie in his lap. They climbed up the rock wall and shared a kiss as they sat atop the structure.

Finally when the first rays of the sun peeked over the horizon, and the clouds were completely gone, they walked to the bus stop hand in hand.

"So I guess coming here wasn't such a bad idea, after all, huh?" Craig said.

"Don't get smart with me," Ellie replied with a smile.

The bus came within a few minutes and it was relatively empty. They sat down next to each other their fingers still interlaced. Craig yawned widely then rested his head on Ellie's shoulder. Within a few minutes his eyes had fallen shut and he was asleep. Elle shifted slightly so that her head was resting gently against the top of his. Although she was soaked and probably in a lot of trouble when they got back to the clinic, she felt completely content. She listened to his even steady breathing wondering how in the world all of this had happened. She had gone from total darkness and desolation to the happiest she could ever remember being. And she had a feeling that Craig was here to stay. No matter where their lives went, no matter how crazy things might get, she knew he would be right there. There to make her laugh through the tears, to hold her when no one else would, to sing her to sleep and a million other things. She had never had that kind if reassurance before from anyone and was grateful for it. And she wanted nothing more than to do the same for him.

As Ellie looked out the window and the bright rays of light from the rising sun bathed her in warmth. She looked down at Craig and the lyrics to the song he had writtensprang up into her mind.

_Brimming on the horizon  
__The light of a new day  
__Possibilities of salvation  
__I'll take you away_

How true those words were.

* * *

**Well that's the last chapter. I'm sad to see this story end because I really enjoyed writing it. I'd love to do a sequel but I'm afraid that Craig and Ellie's story has been told and I don't really see anywhere else I could go with them without being repetitive. Sorry to disappoint anyone but I hope you all liked the story anyway. I'm probably going to wait until the Season Finale airs in a couple of weeks before I start anything new because hopefully enough will go on to inspire a new story. Thanks for reading!**


	31. A Sequel

Okay I got an idea for a sequel. It's just a small seed of an idea and I still hafta develop it and see where I am going to take it. For now I will say that it will take place years later when they are in college. Just when they both are really happy, something happens that sends one of them spiraling back down. Recovering for the first time was hard enough, will they be able to do it again?

I'm not sure when I will get around to developing the story and writing the first chapter. It probably won't be until this season is done sometime late February.


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